I Wonder Why This Number Is Rising So...
Politics0 min ago
Confused About Another Child
4 Answers
So I met this guy a 5 years ago and have been with him ever since, I do have a child that is not his and he does love her as his. There were many times at the beginning of our relationship that I asked him if he was sure he had no kids, and he always said nope. Today we were talking about how we have been trying to have a child of our own for he past 2 years. I asked him if he didn't have the same issue like his family, apparently 60% of the girls and guys in his family including the cousins have had to have fertility treatment. Which is understandable for me to ask since they all struggle to have children.
He responded with something very out of the topic.
"Well I don't think so because right before I met you some girl who I dated called me told me she had had a baby and was 100% sure it was mine.' Obviously I didn't know what to say and it has been bothering me all day, I can't bare to look at him and just avoid him.
Please help me, how should I take or handle this?
This really caught me off guard because we always talk about how irresponsible my daughters real dad is, because he is not around at all. Now I question myself how he can even say anything if he might be in the same situation, plus he can't say he didn't know.
He responded with something very out of the topic.
"Well I don't think so because right before I met you some girl who I dated called me told me she had had a baby and was 100% sure it was mine.' Obviously I didn't know what to say and it has been bothering me all day, I can't bare to look at him and just avoid him.
Please help me, how should I take or handle this?
This really caught me off guard because we always talk about how irresponsible my daughters real dad is, because he is not around at all. Now I question myself how he can even say anything if he might be in the same situation, plus he can't say he didn't know.
Answers
1 to 4 of 4
Best Answer
No best answer has yet been selected by Unsecuredgirl. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
I wouldn't worry too much, he probably just felt a little pressured (2 years trying does seem a bit long) and he responded with an off the cuff remark.
As males, quite a few of us have invariably heard the 'it is definitely yours' story at one time or another, he just used it as a little riposte, that's all.
One or both of you may need a gentle push in the fertility department though so a trip to your GP may be a good idea.
As males, quite a few of us have invariably heard the 'it is definitely yours' story at one time or another, he just used it as a little riposte, that's all.
One or both of you may need a gentle push in the fertility department though so a trip to your GP may be a good idea.
Ask him. He's your long-term partner, he should be honest with you. The issue of whether or not either of you need fertility support after two years of trying does now need to be addressed - and it might well be him, he needs to take the test. On the practical front - surely if some girl thought he was the father of her child, she'd have had a DNA test done and would be chasing him for child support now? You need to sit down with him and ask him about this, and if he thought it was his child, why he's not involved with it.
It does seem odd to me that you kept questioning him at the beginning of your relationship about earlier children - what made you think he had?
It does seem odd to me that you kept questioning him at the beginning of your relationship about earlier children - what made you think he had?
Both of this statements could be true, the girl he was with previously could have had an abortion.
But I agree that it sounds like something said out of hurt, fear or frustration. It does sound like you may have implied the failure to get pregnant was his 'fault', and we males no matter what are a bit sensitive to that sort of suggestion. Talk to him, it will probably turn out to be something long since resolved that shouldn't affect your relationship now.
But I agree that it sounds like something said out of hurt, fear or frustration. It does sound like you may have implied the failure to get pregnant was his 'fault', and we males no matter what are a bit sensitive to that sort of suggestion. Talk to him, it will probably turn out to be something long since resolved that shouldn't affect your relationship now.
1 to 4 of 4
