Am I Being Unfair?

[Budlet]

Ok. So it was my birthday on new years day. It was a big one - my 50th. I have been with my husband for 32 years and thought he knew me well. He knew I didn't want a party. I was so upset at what he bought me. Some sweets and a paperback book!! I didn't even get a birthday cake. When I mentioned it to him he said "you always organise cakes and stuff, I didn't think". That sums it up really. There was no thought gone into it at all. Do I tell him how upset I am or just let it fester?

[Retrochic]

Budlet -your children knew you were having a milestone birthday so why didn't they organize something this year?

[Maydup]

^^^^ what happened to the kids this year? Surprised they didn't prompt something too.

[mrs.chappie]

Talk to him about it and on no account let it fester.

[Budlet]

They weren't around. They have all moved away for uni and work.

[-Talbot-]

Do you get him gifts for birthdays and if you do does he appreciate them?
Personally I couldn't care less if I got anything for a birthday or Christmas.
Maybe like me he is just laid back.
You shouldn't try to force people to be what they are not.

[Tilly2]

Did you get presents and card from your children?

[craft1948]

That's men for you. A few months after the first Mr Craft and I parted his mother rang me to complain he hadn't sent her a birthday card ( he hadn't for 15 years)

[Budlet]

Thanks to everyone for your comments and suggestions. I feel better having got it off my chest. I think I will let him know how upset I am and suggest some way of making it right. x

[grasscarp]

My husband who I have been with for 40 years has never given me either birthday or Christmas presents ever. He buys me meals, cars etc but anything I have had has never been really connected with an occasion. We don't do anniversaries either. He probably realizes that I don't care. My daughters however always spoil me. Sorry you are so disappointed in your husband but he tried, just not enough in your eyes. I would let it go.

[Psybbo]

Budlet, men can be idiots at times. I've never let OH forget the time he bought me a printer for Xmas and he used it mostly!

[-Talbot-]

Last year I go 2 ******ing frying pans..........how we laughed

[kat-kin]

Budlet, I was married for 30 years when I reached a milestone birthday. My ex organised a small family party,gorgeous cake,huge bunch of red roses and the most romantic card I ever had from him. When the family had gone my ex hugged me then quietly said.."I don't love you anymore so I'm leaving now". That was 3 years ago. Now that's being selfish so please forgive your hubby.

[Old_Geezer]

Say you are disappointed, but don't go overboard. At his age it's hard to spot the pitfalls when you don't realise more is expected of you than usual.

[Old_Geezer]

To put things into perspective, I arranged nothing special for my woman's 60th. I think she was glad I didn't.

[paddywak]

I've been with Trish for more then thirty years and I've never bought her a birthday or anniversary present but two or three times a year I'll see something that I know she'll like and get it for her,the secret being to get some thing that is just for her not for the house or shared and it doesn't even have to be expensive so long as she knows it's just for her.

[kylesmum]

Haven't read anyone elses replies so i'm merely answering your OP.

On one of my big ones I organised a family do at the house to pre-empt my all time nightmare of a 'surprise' party...which i'd likely have sussed, which would have been worse.

Get a belated party organised. you organise it.Tell your family and pals that you didn't want to say before the festivities but all they have to bring is themselves and have a good old raucous night with your friends, family, neighbours...believe me it worlks. No pressure and tell them that you both had it planned for the end of January say...so it was both your surprise !! You'll love it and so will you man. Life's too short...enjoy each other x

[Ric.ror]

A trick I learnt a few years ago
By your own pressies add them to the pile and put your loved ones names on the cards
Then you get what you want and they are surprised by their own generosity

[DaisyNonna]

Birthday cake. As if.

[PankySmooch]

Women are funny like that, never got my missus a cake on her birthday in 20yrs yet last year she went nuts and moaned like hell, made her one this birthday and she was well chuffed.

Strange creatures

[woofgang]

Well with respect if he has never done anything because the kids did it all, its not surprising that he didn't do anything. I don't think you are exactly being unfair but be honest really honest, what did you actually expect?