Would It Be Weird If I Went Out With 6 Men?

[abbeylee90]

One of my male friends is going put tomorrow with 5 male friends and invited me don't know if it abit strange 

[Countrylover]

Tilly rude and intolerant(never)  gets zapped yet all those regular nasties in news can stay!!  RavingMadmod! 

[johnny.5]

[Smowball]

Thanks andres , & fellow gang for the update. God you only have to miss a few days on here and anything happens! lol. 

[Redhelen72]

Late to the party on this one.

I have been out several times with large groups of men - some of which I knew some I didn't.

I never felt unsafe quite the opposite - but then i trusted some of the guys I was with.

[newmodarmy]

Maybe, redhelen;  but that's different to going out with a much older man you find creepy and 5 of his mates whom you've never met before.

[Redhelen72]

TBH if she finds him that creepy why has she not

a/reported him to the sanctuary - they have a duty of care to their volunteers

b/ continued to go to lunch and take rides with him (it appears she is using him)

c/made her parents aware that she is uncomfortable 

[barry1010]

I don't think she is using him - he puts Abbey on the spot, in an awkward position and she finds it hard to say 'no', not wanting to be rude or offensive.

Reporting somebody can be a difficult thing, especially if she is unsure whether he is really being creepy or it is her reaction to him that is 'off'.

She is a woman in her 30s - why would she tell her parents?

[Redhelen72]

If she is a woman in her 30's she needs to start acting like one then!

[naomi24]

Regardless of age, some people don't possess the confidence, self-assurance and wherewithal that others may be endowed with.   If people seek advice in a polite and non-confrontational manner, as Abbey does,  the very least we can do is offer it kindly. 

[barry1010]

Helen, have a bit of consideration.  Abbey has dyspraxia and it is not a condition that I understand but do understand it can affect behaviour in social situations and how she deals with her emotions.

[Moorea7]

^^ That is very true, Naomi, but what can be annoying is that Abbey does not seem to listen to the tons of advice given and, does not respond in a very clear way.

[Redhelen72]

Barry, I would if she followed advice.

She was diagnosed at 5 - with no follow up and no further action - that is not how it works!

Naomi - perhaps you should follow your own advice

[naomi24]

Moorea, we can offer advice but no one is obliged to take it.  I think Abbey oftens knows what she wants to do but is unsure of herself and so seeks endorsement.

 

Redhelen.  I do.

[barry1010]

That is not how it works - now.  I don't know what help was available 25 years ago in Wales.  I don't know how hard her parents pushed for help or advice, I don't know how her parents reacted to the diagnosis or how they coped.  

Abbey has not broken any Site Rules.  As far as I know she has not once been rude to any ABer.  Either be helpful or ignore her posts - none of us are obliged to either read or reply.

 

[Moorea7]

Naomi, if that is the case, perhaps Abers are wasting their time trying to help;  Abbey should be consulting her parents who know her best but there seems to be a lack of communication there!

[naomi24]

Moorea, ABers can choose to try to help or simply ignore the questions.  It's up to them.

[ABSpareEditor]

Redhelen72, your comments are inappropriate. Do not discourage other members from asking for advice. 

[Redhelen72]

Really?

which ones?

[maggiebee]

abbeylee - you asked this on the 7th of Dec and said "going out tomorrow" which would make it the 8th of Dec.  Did you go?

[scorpiojo]

Abbey said she didn't go.