Do I Message Him Or Wait For Him?

[abbeylee90]

I meant to be going on my date on Saturday after bottomless brunch but do I message or wait for him?

[Redhelen72]

To a certain degree extent she is right, you are 31 so an adult so should be able to manage your condition.

what concerns me is that you have apparently had this since you were 5 and nothing has been put in place.

but what confuses me at the same time is that you stayed in education until you were 21 and were apparently very successful.

[abbeylee90]

Would be under stress all the time be making it worse?

I haven't been 100% right since covid and with my ex but use to be good at certain things.

[Redhelen72]

No one can answer that!

go to the dr!!

[pastafreak]

Long covid?? 

If your mother knows about the dyspraxia, has she ever encouraged you to get help/advice? Has she read up on it?

[Redhelen72]

A diagnosis as a 5 year old is totally different to one for a 31 year old, you are still developing at 5!

just go to the drs

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, over six months ago, many ABers suggested you go to see your doctor. Your ignored that, had the same problems - again and again - over the next few months.Will you follow any advice this time round? 

[Hazlinny]

18.01  You mention your "ex" Abbey - did you have a partner as you don't seem to have mentioned this previously?

[newmodarmy]

She'e said previously she used to have one or more boyfriends that her mum used to allow to stay overnight in abbey's room, so i'm assuming it was a relationship

[jourdain2]

Driving - I read that most people are learning in automatics these days.  Obviously I didn't, but I now drive an automatic because of knee arthritis.  I can manage a manual, but it hurts. So that in itself is not a problem. Learn your road-signs etc..

Try to stick to those 3 main goals you have (and that I listed for you) wthout being distracted by new clothes etc..

Hmmm - not finding 'him'.  Maybe you will, maybe you won't; but anything is preferable to ending up with the wrong manand trying to persuade yourself that 'He's the one'.  Romance can strike at any age. Live your life and don't try so hard - it's a put-off

Granted Mr.J2 and I had had previous marriages - but I had no intention of being whisked off my feet in a foreign country and eloping with a 75-yr-old. It happened anyway and I was, to say the least, shocked!  :)

[abbeylee90]

Yes I haven't been with my ex for 3 years.

I don't think she reads but take on what been said by Dr  but seems it got worse over last few years don't know if it mental health.

[abbeylee90]

At my age I should have a partner and be settling down 

[Redhelen72]

Who says you should have settled down? I have plenty of friends 4 that I can think of in their 50/60s that haven't had partners since their 30s no children and very happy.

if I am blunt I apologise but you do not seem to put an effort in and you blame everyone else for your failure 

[abbeylee90]

How is that simple and if people on here say it don't look attractive if I try to hard.

Just feel left out and don't want to be like that man from dogs who I no longer and barley speak to.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, you've been aimless - in all sorts of areas - for months and months now. People suggested you could improve your life if you tackled some things head on - such as finding a job that suited you and that you could do, investigating if your dyspraxia has a bearing on your inability to cope in so many areas, not bogging yourself down in all the 'what did the supervisor mean when she said ...three months ago?' It'll be tricky, naturally, but you can't go on as you are . I know you've mentioned depression before (and shrugged off all the advice and help suggested) and you've recently mentioned long Covid. There's no instant solution, no-one's going to come along and offer you a dream job and a dream partner.

[abbeylee90]

Not me having I mean during pandemic 

[Neveracrossword]

Thanks for clarifying that, Abbey. So what is stopping you from sitting down and working out what you want in life - and how you can make it happen? Maybe an appointment with your GP will point you towards some help. Could you honestly face another year like you had in 2023? 

[abbeylee90]

I need write notes on what I would say to him/her

[scorpiojo]

Abbey, as I, and many others suggested months ago, go and see your doctor and talk to him/her about depression and dyspraxia. Make a list of what you want to discuss, and no, you do not have to tell the receptionist why you want an appointment.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, people here have given you LOADS of useful advice on what to discuss with your doctor. I know it's probably easier for you to just ignore all this - but then you go back to 'why is my life so rubbish?', 'why don't I have a boyfriend?' etc etc.  That's well over six months that you've mentioned your 'mental health' (although sometimes you were like the rest of us, just fed up!). Are you ever going to do anything about it?

[abbeylee90]

I've put notes on my phone could very well give me meds for depression. Not sure I will get advice on why I haven't got a boyfriend.