Is She A Good Friend?

[abbeylee90]

One of my closest  friends of 12 years  ever since she moved in with her partner she hasn't bothered with me unless it is through other friends one of of my other closest friends she use to slag her off now they like best mates but she makes no effort with me like she use to even said she can't make plans in advance because of money but can with my friend.

[bednobs]

 

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1868068.html 

perhaps read your answers from the last time you asked

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, you asked very similar questions months ago. Yes, maybe you're even more aware of the problems, issues, now - but I don't think there's any new reassurance anyone here  can give you. People, friends, move on - very few things stay exactly the same.

[elliemay1]

Maybe I'm wrong but I thought that you posted something like this before, abbey

[bednobs]

or from the time before that:

 

https://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Family/Question1866448.html

i doubt the answers have changed

[William51]

 Do not worry, in life friendships and allegiances can change, enjoy the friendships you have got and do not worry about it.

[Prudie]

Ok I'll liven this up but it is my honest opinion based on experience - as you move on through life you come to realise that most women are backstabbing disingenuous biatches. 

[mumstheword1]

Just please grow up and stop using this site for your ridiculous questions.

[naomi24]

Mumstheword, all members are welcome to ask any question that doesn't break the rules.  No member is obliged to respond.  If you don't like Abbey's questions you have the option to ignore them.

[douglas9401]

Aye, but unfortunately it's not as simple as moving seats on the bus when one encounters the bewildered.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, is there someone you could sit down and talk to properly about how your life is going, where your life is going? You're having the same issues - with work, with friends, with money - as you had last year (and maybe even the year before). 

[Tuvok]

Please use punctuation in your posts. 

[abbeylee90]

I'm ok for money atm 

[Auntypoll]

What has you having money got to do with your friendship? Seems like she's moved on and frankly I'm not surprised as you seem to have ground to a halt emotionally at around 14 years old. 

[newmodarmy]

Are you able to pay your mum housekeeping money, save a bit (or at least not incur any debts) and put something aside for your pension, working 10 hours a week at minimum wage? However I think that money issues belong on your other thread. This is about your 'friend'.

[abbeylee90]

That was my response to neveracrossword.

Well if her relationship goes pair shaped I won't be there same as when I was with my ex she said to keep in touch with my friends or they won't be there for me if we split.

[newmodarmy]

Sorry Auntypoll- yours wasn't there when I started typing mine.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, I mentioned money because it's often a problem for you - and likely to be one again soon as you're working only 10 hours a week (again). If you think that's fine for paying dig money, learning to drive, saving for a place of your own... you're mistaken. Your problems keep repeating themselves! You've mentioned before that you won't be around for your friend if she needs you - are you keen for that to happen? 

[abbeylee90]

That's why I asked before if I should look for a new job. Not if she dumped me you can't do that to friends only want them when things go wrong in thier relationship.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, your previous question - should I look for a new job? - was because you were doing only 24 hours a week and were having to prove you could do the codes. Now your hours have been cut again (for various reasons), what do YOU think would be best? I don't think anyone would say, 'No, stay where you are, 10 hours a week will be fine'.

[Neveracrossword]

Abbey, did you re-read your earlier threads about your feelings on the friendship? Maybe some of the advice there will resonate more now... otherwise you'll be going back to this topic every few months. Lives move on, change. Friends and friendships move on, change - whether you or we want them to or not.