Am I Right To Be Offended?

[abbeylee90]

My friend who's hen party I went to a few weeks ago. They told me it was an enclosed wedding but she invited other friends obviously one was maid of honour and invited the other one who came to hen night a few others I know from where I use to work unless her husband invited them but I feel quite hurt that I wasn't invited or even tp the party.

[DDIL]

She didn't lie she just didn't invite a load of hanger ons!!!

give it up you do not have the right to feel offended!

[abbeylee90]

What does that mean?

[naomi24]

To be the only one left out, I would be upset too, abbey, and yes, offended.  I think most people would - even if they say they wouldn't.  That's a natural human reaction to being treated like that.  The sad fact of life is that people we call friends often turn out to be no more than just random people we know.

[abbeylee90]

If I ever got married means I can't invite any of them as I didn't go to hers I don't want to invite her.

[Old_Geezer]

Remember:

"A friend is just a stranger you've learnt to tolerate."

[elliemay1]

Where I come from, if you are invited to attend a hen party (family & close friends) it goes without saying that you also go to the wedding. Maybe it's different in other places. I would also be upset, abbey. I see nothing wrong with asking her straight out about it

[naomi24]

Don't then.... but don't dwell on it.  It's done.  You can't change it.

[abbeylee90]

That why it's awkward now if I makes plans in the group, there were also people from where I know her from that were there that I didn't think she was close to.

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe you over-think and over-predict things. I doubt it means as much to others as you feel it means to you.  Shrug your shoulders and proceed as you choose.

[abbeylee90]

Or another fake friend gained.

[naomi24]

Just think of her as someone you know because that's all she is.  Real friends are rare.  You don't have to be bosom buddies with everyone.

[abbeylee90]

I get that because the one that goes off people when things change in her life also her oldest friend said she don't bother with her unless she's in contact.

[naomi24]

Abbey, she's not worrying about you as you are worrying about her.  She is not a friend - she's just someone you know.  Just accept that.

[DDIL]

Half the girls at my hen nights were not invited to my wedding.

[naomi24]

Well they were in good company then, DDIL.  To be the only one left out is something entirely different.

[Hazlinny]

11.03 Take heed of Naomi's comment, Abbey - you have to learn to differentiate between friends and acquaintances.

[DDIL]

The person left out should perhaps take a long hard look in the mirror.

my response was to the comment 'if you are invited to attend a hen party (family & close friends)'

perhaps the bride doesn't consider abbey a close friend.

also the OP appears to have lots of issues with her friends 

[naomi24]

If I were Abbey I'd be more inclined to take a long hard look at someone who is unkind enough to leave just one person from a group of friends out.

[albaqwerty]

I've missed something, was Abbey invited to hen party?

If so, seems odd to be told she wasn't invited to wedding, surely invites go out earlier than the hen do, maybe bride was making sure Abbey knew she wasn't invited?

Whole thing seems odd.

[Old_Geezer]

Maybe the hen party didn't involve paying for a limited amount of catering, it was an open invite ? While the reception very likely had number restrictions. I don't think it follows that everyone on a hen or stag do is expecting oe exoected to go to the formal evening occassion.