families and Grief

[yinyang]

It's been three and a half months since my dad died and eight months since my grandfather died and,as a family, we seem to be getting worse instead of better. The last month or so has been terrible. The girls have been getting into trouble at school, not big things, just not paying attention, not getting on with work and so on and at home they've been very hard work. They've been demanding, squabble constantly, argue back and ignore us when we ask them to do something.
Now, I'm the first to put my hands up and say my tolerence levels at the moment are part of the problem. I am worn out trying to keep everybody happy and my patience and energy are at an all time low. Eerytime I try and do something nice it just seems to backfire and we all end up angry at each other again.
My husband has been great and tries to take as much off me as he can but I know he gets fed up too and I end up just feeling guilty about putting him under extra stress.
Any tips on how we can help each other through this would be greatly appreciated. At the moment I just feel like walkng away from it all for a while. Thanks.

[yinyang]

Hi Schlomo,
Thanks for keeping in touch. Thought AB were playing silly beggers when I saw I had a new answer.

Firstly, how did things go with your grandfather in America? I hope you found a way to give yourself some peace of mind during it all. Sounds like you're still having a rough time of it. How's your little one doing?

I have to say it's I'm not finding it much easier yet either. i still miss my dad so much and really think the shockwaves from his loss have only started to hit recently.
We're still having problems with the girls, mostly just insecurity and attention seeking. When they're at home for example they want me to come to the toilet with them or follow me when i go. However they have started to open up more and really talk about how they;re feeling which i think will be good for them. the downside is that I'm now dealing with questions about what was wrong with their grandpa and why couldn't the doctors make him better. It's a non stop job giving them both the attention they need just now.
Like you, i still feel like i need a bit of breathing space but don't see a way it's going to happen. The only person we've got to babysit is mum and obviously she's got her own stuff to deal with just now, so we haven't even had a night out since before Christmas. My husband would be happy to let me go away on my own for a night or two but that's not what i want. it would be nice to spend some fun time with him without worrying about the girls.

Anyway....
If the beta thing was up and running and I had any clue how to do personal messaging we could keep in touch through that. in the meantime we can do it through this thread. I still get e-mails so if you want to talk just post something on here and I'll follow you. Take care. x