Smacking

[sooz07]

Is it ok for a parent to slap their 16 year old daughter just because she wouldn't let them read her diary???

[Homer55]

not at all, its her personal possesions and should be resected, to hit some one at 16 anyway isnt correct..by this age you know right from wrong.

[cazzz1975]

a 16year olds diary is their own personal possession, If my mom read my diary at that age I would be mortified!

Its not that I had done anything wrong but its a part of growing up and teenages are very private people! hitting a 16 year old because you cant look at it is like having a toddler tantrum!

[tigwig]

my mum did read my hidden diary at this age, she claimed she found it by accident and obviously couldn't help herself. She regretted it though, it was full of the things I had been getting up to with my boyfriend in explicit detail she thought I had made it up!! I told her I had, didn't want to ruin her opnion of me being a sweet and innocent virgin

[beatlegal2]

leave her diary alone,she old enough to leave home i don't blame her if she did.if if ya thinking of hitting her cos she wont let ya read her stuff, just may find sumit in it ya wish ya had't.

[dinsdale]

not really,

she is old enough now to move on in her own life and you have to let her. We all need to learn from our own expieriences and you need to let her go. At 16 years old I think its a bit of an intrusion, and would not be suprised if she retaliated. I would have!

[pips1]

I can't believe this - it is outrageous, I would never read my daughter's diary.

[sooz07]

It was my dad who slapped my sister in the face twice, my mum was grabbing my sister to get her diary (my sister was sitting on her diary so my parents couldn't get it). I had to grab my mum then my dad off my sister, I didn't know what they would have done if I hadn't. She was being secrective with her diary. They said they need to know what is in the diary in case it is to do with sex etc that she shouldn't be doing because she got herself into that kind of mess before. I think she only did it because she was seeking out for attention and got it from a guy because at that time my mum wasn't home. Was slapping my still allowed, if this was the case?

[Twenty20]

Nice parents youve got! I cant think of any situation when you'd slap your 16 year old daughters face.

[sooz07]

Yes Twenty20 I am very angry with my parents but I don't know if I should be telling anyone (police etc) about this situation? I know they are not nice parents because this is not the half of it!

[sense4all]

Can't you both leave home? I have slapped a hysterical teenager, but no not under the circumstances you describe.
It sounds like a control issue to me.

This is a US site but helps you with basic info ...

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/ family_abuse.html

this is a UK site and the fact sheet downloads are more detailed

http://www.childline.org.uk/Domesticviolence.a sp

I can understand that your parents have trust issues with your sister, but I think this was handled badly ... do they allow you privacy ( presuming that there has been no breach in the past ) or are they just control freaks?

[sooz07]

Sense4all: You are absolutely correct - it is a control issue and I have told her that time and time again. There is only so much protection you can give a child and only so much you can try and prevent them from doing, you can't watch your kids 24 hours a day. I am very angry at both my parents. I would leave, no problem but I don't want my parents to take out on my 2 younger sisters. My sister who was slapped couldn't really move out because she wouldn't be able to support herself.

[caron musson]

well my ex brother in law slapped his step daughter , and the daughter called the police and he got a caution.
He was in a lot of trouble over it .

[wiggal]

My stepdad once hit me, because I didnt get off the pc when he told me to, so he hit me then ran up the stairs after me. I was 17 at the time, and near the top of the stairs, I stopped, turned round and slapped him round the face!
I then got in s*** for it because I shouldnt of hit him because he was diabetic!
He had hit me before, just before I turned 16, and I ran away, only for a week mind you, but probably not the best solution!
But I do know, that even now, if it happened again, I wouldnt hesitate to hit someone back if they hit me in that situation!
Believe it or not, Im now closer to my stepdad then I have ever been and love him to pieces!

[lovenut]

er no!

[leelapops]

Oh my gosh, hitting anyone is bad, but to hit your 16 y/o child over something like this? It just seems such an irrational response to such a small problem.

sooz, I really feel for you, and your sister. Your parents should be trying to talk to your sister, even if it is bout something personal, rather than violating her privacy. If there are issues with your sister, they should try and show her they are supporting her and want to listen, instead of lashing out in this way.

Is there anyone you can speak to outside of your immediate family, for a more balanced perspective? What do you think you should do?

[saxy_jag]

I'm not sure whether she's still classed as a minor at the age of 16(a legal bod would know). If she is, then the police would have to get involved if you or she reported the incident, because she could be classed as a minor either being harmed or being at significant risk of of harm.

If she's not classed as a minor, then I think the only one who can report the incident is your sister herself.

As a matter of opinion, I think your parents are wrong, no matter what trouble your sister may have been in before. Her diary is her personal property and your parents not should demand to read it.

[FKNelectro]

NO WAY its not right to smack a child. if there is a very legitimate reason, sure, maybe, but for reading their diary? To a teenage girl, a diary is a VERY personal thing, and if you ask to read it, and she says no, then you should not read it. you would hit a child because they would not let you invade their privacy?

[gallapunk]

I believe that it is not OK at all; it is terrible.

[McNoodle]

Why would you put your most personal thoughts in a diary that others could access??!! No, it's not acceptable to slap your 16 yr old daughter, and - wiggal - being diabetic doesn't make you any more unslappable than the next person. Throw sugar in his face next time he hits you, if you want to freak him out!