Is my husband having an affair?

[joannewatson]

A few months ago I noticed a text message from a girl who I have never heard of on my husbands phone. I trust my husband and did not read it and never mentioned it to him. At around the same time he ordered another sim card, I queried this with him and he said it was because it was free and that he was going to send it back, I later saw a bill for this phone.

Anyway, we were out the other day and I asked to borrow his phone and went to use it, he immediately came after me and said don't be long as I don't have much credit (he seemed a bit agitated). As I was handing it back a text message popped up from this same girl which said 'r u ok babes?'. I pretended I didn't notice it and I think he wasn't sure if I had seen it but he was then overly nice to me and was saying how much he loved me and had tears in his eyes. A little later I could not get this out of my mind and was funny with him and we ended up falling out. Once home I asked him who this girl was and he initially pretended he did not know what I was talking about and denied knowing this girl and made out I must have mis-read the text and it was a from a male workmate. After much more probing he admitted it was a girl from work he is friends with and that he thought I would go mad. I accepted this but the way he has reacted was very suspicious. Then, last night when I went on the internet I went to log onto my e-mail and found the login was in my husbands name so he has set up a e-mail account without mentioning it to me. He is not great on the computer and would not know this would show, he also has no reason to have an e-mail account.

We have been together 13 years and always had a close & good relationship. However, it has been very difficult between us since I told him I was pregnant with our one year old, although he already has a 14 year old son from a previous relationship.

What should I do???

[Gromit]

Er... Tell him top stop having an affair with this other woman?

[weeal]

Joanne thats a horrible situation to be in, it definitely doesnt sound right and if he's fumbling around for excuses etc he is hiding something for sure.
Is there a way you could find out anything about the girl at his work on the sly? via other workmates? just to get more info I mean. You need more information.

[joggerjayne]

Find yourself a Chippendale and get your own back.

[RevFunk]

Somethings afoot

Just confront him straight out

[leelapops]

Aw joanne, you need to tell him that it is very obvious to you that he is not being honest. Give him a chance to explain. You knoe him well enough to know that his behaviour is unusual and a little defensive, so ask him why.
If he can't give you a reasonble explanation, you need to seriously think about if it is worth the extra stress on top of having a young child. If he DOES offer you any explanation, you need to work out how it makes you feel and where you want to go from there.

x

[RevFunk]

Im sorry but anyone who just happens to get another simcard is up to no good.

[redcrx]

ask him outright.

you trust him so ask him directly.

he may have an email address for buying online, or even for an answerbank ID

[joannewatson]

Thanks, but its not the advise I was really looking for. I think I need a bit more proof before I would divorce him at the drop of a hat. Plus, I have a young child so its not that simple.

[RevFunk]

With candles/victoria sponge where her eyes used to be

[Lindylou]

Or you could just monitor his emails..... I would ask him for a proper explanation. Hope he can reassure you and that he is being truthful. And then, monitor his emails...

[joannewatson]

Thanks for all your advice (my previous message was responding to the first two messages), I think I need to have a think about how to handle this.

[sense4all]

I would check out what he is up to on the internet. Also his spare sim sounds dodgy. Time to press the history button and see what else he has been doing.

[Bathsheba]

Aah joanne- what an awful situation for you.
Now this isn't meant to be flippant, but has your hubby updated his wardrobe recently? Bought new underwear? Sounds daft, I know, but it's a pretty good indicator x

[Booldawg]

What about the other usual traits that go along with having an affair? Has he become more interested in his appearance? (new clothes, going to the gym). Does he have enough unaccountable time for being able to conduct an affair? Loss of appetite?

[cheries]

Holy sh1t. You're all psychos.
Joanne, sweetheart, I'm sorry to join the wave of negativity here but it sounds horribly like your hubby is cheating.
I'd confront him, maybe even follow him.

[RevFunk]

Are you stalking me Cheries lol?

[ummmm]

Take her number down and phone her.

[andrea81]

Doesn't sound promising Joanne, it might be a faze with him as men and women can go through a bit of a faze! But confront him and ask him outright, but be prepared for lies as he might not want to lose you either!