holidaying on his own

[suzie1]

my husband of 6 years has been going on holiday to corfu greece, every year for two weeks alone(thats what he says) he never takes me and the kids, coz he says he needs 'time alone' and never goes out normally and treats himself to a break once a year instead. He also claims that the kids are too small to go too far and he doesnt even take us inland. kids are 4 and 2. im confused as he is always at home, if not at work, he drives a taxi and works friday and saturday nights, so i cant really think that he would have someone else as when would he see her. I love him dearly, but i cannot understand why he wont take us away and what the real reason behind this is......what is corfu in greece like.....he stays at the kerkyra golf hotel in alykes......what do you people think about this, also he ahs asked me to take a loan in my name for 30grand coz he wants to invest in shares and gov bonds, i agreed, coz i dont want to not be supportive to him........

[tamborine]

suzie1...quite normal feelings for a young mum - but stop 'self-harming' as kids will learn that - then you will know pain. He means a lot to you and kids so keep with it (divorce creates a vacancy). Dodge the loan business as you will need money for the kids - they're your priority. Just keep with the routine for now till your head is clearer. You might even learn to enjoy marriage.

[Panic Button]

Who looks after the kids when you are drunk?

http://www.theanswerb...Question838574-2.html

[karenmac60]

That's not fair. She's having a rough enough time without you having a go. So fathers can go off on holiday but mothers can't have a drink now and then. You don't know where the kids were or if their dad was there.

[suzie1]

kids were at mums, i never have a drink, thats why i got a little merry, my body is not used to alcohol, jst a bottle or two got me giddy, i was with my mates at home. im a responsible parent so dont even try and have a go at me, coz it wont make me feel worse than i already do, my kids came home the followin afternoon, i had cleaned up the house and cooked a lovely supper before they came back home and i was sober. mum and sister had taken them out to pics and for tea, this is the second time i asked my mum to help out a little, shes not all that well herself, but my sis helped with the kids, they call her mom!!! and they call me mummy, mama mom and everything else thats cute...i havent had a drink since then, it dont suit me

[karenmac60]

I'm going to my bed now Suzie, but you take care of yourself and ignore comments like that. You sound like a brilliant mum, you deserve to feel happy and well. Good luck to you, Karen x

[suzie1]

thank you karen, ur a wonderful person and i really appreciate your help. nite nite god bless.xxxxxxxxxxxx

[tamborine]

panicb - any chance of you apologising to suzie after her explanation?

waiting...........

[Canary42]

Hi Suzie,

It's difficult to answer you without knowing much more about your case. On the face of it I agree with the majority of answers so far, but I really feel that considering your circumstances, and your misogynistic GP, you should urgently seek professional counselling from, for example, Relate, CAB, or even Samaritans.

www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/index/aboutus.htm

www.samaritans.org

Good luck and I hope things improve for you soon, you sound much too nice to be so abused.

[cherrychapstick]

Hi Suzie ,ask him once more to take you all on holiday if he refuses tell him you are going on holiday yourself and he will have to look after the children (see if this changes his mind!) if i doesn't then book a holiday if you don't want to leave the children book it for the 3 of you,please don't get a loan out in your name for 30k especially when it sounds like you don't trust him ,does he phone you when he is away?you really have to stand up to him don't let him laugh you questions off ,you have to know ,btw do you work?

[Panic Button]

Well a check on the questions Suzie asks shows a lot of anomolies.

At one time she wanted to do a criminal law degree.

[Panic Button]

Put it this way, I don't believe Suzie is who he pretends to be.

[yogi-bear]

That makes two of us, panic..........wanted to know about a Driiveway and a Loft conversion in last few weeks too......now a loan to oh?.......i have an itch i cant get too yet.

[Whoever]

susie - you want your head testing if you sign up to any agreement to take out a £30,000 loan in your name for your husband and I sincerely implore you not to do this. You have talked about having many problems in your marriage in the past and I ask you to look at your situation in a detached view and ask yourself whether you would advise your best friend to get herself £30,000 in debt for a husband who deserts his wife and family every year to have a solo holiday abroad. If your husband wants a break, insist on having a holiday with the whole family. .It's time to put a stop to this kind of emotional blackmail over the money he wants. .
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND DO NOT GET YOURSELF INTO DEBT. It sounds as if he needs to grow up and start remembering he has a family and other responsibilities.

[suzie1]

panic button and yogi bear, i am a female woman, and i am 100% who i say i am, u may have hidden intentions by coming on to answerbank, but me, i dont, i just come on here for a little advice and someone to confide in, if you dont like that, then do not input your sad little comments on to my thread, whats wrong with asking about a loft conversion or drive way, i want to make a good life for me and the children and would also like it if i could do a law degree, i am a clerical officer,, part time at the moment, i work for a living and i can have what i like in terms of what i want for my home and my family....i am going to do a criminal law degree, i just need to get this sorted out first............so bottom line is, f*ck off back to your little holes, u rats panic button and yogi, im a very depressed lady and you are not helping........apologies if i have offended anyone other than the two i intended to.

[karenmac60]

How are you feeling tonight Suzie? Ignore those 2 - paranoia seems to be rife on this site, not helped by some idiots who come on and stir things up by using other names. I suppose it just makes some folk suspicious. I was thinking about you today and wondering how you are getting on. You sounded very down last night.

[ailie]

Shares, equities can be in your name so u know where they are/how they are earning.
Look at it this way, if u can meet the repayments you are saying thank you to him for helping give you wot u needed to get yourself sorted.
If he's got a busy, people, needs to have a public face job...& family at home then a week's peace sounds like it might be necessary for him to keep all the balls in the air.
Isn't that good he's not out every weekend.
Wot if he is meeting someone once a year....they might have helped each other in the past & have a bond u won't understand.
You have him for 51 wks....enjoy that & trust him but tell him how much your relationship has helped you & how much he means to you.
You sometimes have to let something go to get it back.......do it hug the kids lol x

[Mosaic]

You are being exploited by this man. He is able to do this because you love him. Love changes. Love can come and go. If this man loves you in return he would not be pressuring you to take financial risks for his benefit. He sounds mentally ill - this is very sad, but like having an alcoholic partner, there comes a point where the illness takes over and the person becomes someone else, not the one you fell in love with. Get some legal advice asap. My reaction would be to tell him to leave and to have a legally negotiated set of conditions for his return. Change the locks, get a restraining order, but don't put yourself and your family through any more of this nonsense.

[suzie1]

Hi karen , i do feel a llitle better today, did talk to him and try to sort things out, not going ahead with the loan if im not happy with it, he says hes doing it for me and the kids, and he likes to be having his own break for two weeks, and he will take us away aswell this year, believe it when i see it!!! thanks for being nice and not judging me like the other two prats, everyone wants to enjoy life and make it nice for the kids, i didint know it was a sin to ask such questions regrding drive ways and loft conversions on ab, i will go and see my gp as i though before once im working i would be ok and i still feel depressed regardless

[B00]

I'm sorry suzie, but this man, and I do use the term loosely here sounds a complete and utter to$$er!

That being said, I also think you are partially to blame for thew way he treats you, as you let him! Stop being a sap to him, grow a backbone for heavens sake. Tell him the holidays on his own stops or you and the kids wont be there on his return.

And if he want's a loan, tell him to get a job that pays enough so that he can save to get one out in his own name.

[Sqad]

// Tell him the holidays on his own stops or you and the kids wont be there on his return.///

That will really devastate him.