(Very) Unlucky In Love?

[LazyGun]

I remember following and reading this poor womans story when the news first broke - a victim of domestic abuse at the hands of her boyfriend, throttled into unconscious, regaining her consciousness only to find that her boyfriend had gouged her eyes out. Horrific, savage brutality which I find incomprehensible.

She then became a campaigner against domestic violence, wrote a book, and settled in with a new partner - who has recently been jailed for assaulting her.

I really feel for her.I also cannot understand this impulse that prompts the physical assaults, and the brutality of it. I can think of no conceivable circumstance in which I would employ such violence.

Is she just unlucky? Does it suggest poor judgement? Or is it simply that many men have poor impulse control and a deep well of violent rage?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/jul/22/domestic-violence-boyfriend-jailed-campaigner

[naomi24]

I've known more than one lady who has gone from one abusive relationship to another - one married three times and each time found herself in the same situation. I don't know if it's just a 'type' they're attracted to, but think it won't happen again.

[LazyGun]

@ Naomi So do you think these women, that are unlucky enough to find themselves in serial abusive relationships, consciously or subconsciously, recognise that impulse to violence, and that itself forms part of the type they are attracted to?

[silliemillie]

I think some people are unable to break the cycle of attracting or being attracted to a certain type.

[naomi24]

Difficult one LG. A bit of both probably - I do think some women see something attractive about what they perceive to be a macho man - but the bottom line is that they're in love and they convince themselves that this time will be different. Of course, it never is.

[Gromit]

I have seen many times, women get a a new partner who turns put to be a clone of the last one. Maybe we all have a type that we like, and some unfortunate women are attracted to men who are abusive. And keep repeating the same pattern.

[emmie]

it can be the vulnerability angle, some people give it off, it is generally an unconscious thing, and there are those men or women sometimes who can pick up on it straight away. Vile story, wish that i had read it i confess.

[emmie]

this point came about whilst talking with a psychologist...

[ummmm]

There are a number of reasons behind it. Some people are addicted to drama or addicted to the adrenalin rush the drama gives them. I know a male and a female like this...

Other people are victims. They are preyed on because of their vulnerability by people who probably suffer from low self esteem themselves and abuse other people to make them feel a little bit powerful.

[China Doll]

I'm a very strong believer in that essentially you invite certain things in to your life (like people or 'luck') - knowingly or not. I think if you present yourself as a victim or vulnerable or someone who likes/needs to be looked after (again, perhaps not even knowingly) then you have every chance of attracting someone who can prey on this type of mindset.

[mikey4444]

One can only feel sorry for this unfortunate lady but also can't help wondering why she made such poor judgement not once but twice.

[goodlife]

There is more to married life than working and providing the necessary things for each other in a material way. There are married couples who have plenty of food to eat, money to spend for essentials and relaxation, a comfortable home in which to live and friends with whom to associate, who find themselves unhappy and just tolerating each other, hoping that something will change their unhappy state or waiting for it to work out.

What has happened between husband and wife who vowed to love, cherish and deeply respect their mates for the rest of their lives? They are not living and acting together as “one flesh”! It is as simple as that!(1 Cor. 7:2)

[emmie]

you don't know you have made a poor choice until sometimes it's too late.
you don't go out looking for a bstard, but some can sense a vulnerability in the person and play upon it. I dated someone who was charm personified, until the time came when he wasn't.

[boxtops]

Yeah, right, goodlife.

[emmie]

goodlife should a woman stay with a husband who beats her black and blue, i wouldn't have thought so. some do, but i don't think it's out of love and devotion, more fear of what else he might do.

[boxtops]

In goodlife's world, men respect their wives because the Bible tells them to.

[emmie]

hokum as the Americans would say

[mikey4444]

Boll*x as us Brits say !

[LazyGun]

Goodlifes post is just an excuse to evangelise and offers no insight or even relevance.

I do feel very sorry for this woman; The first attack she endured was absolutely horrific, and I admired her for her fortitude in coming forward to speak. I really really do not get men exercising violence against women like this.

[naomi24]

LG, it's not only a power thing - I think men like this are fundamentally weak and incredibly insecure. They need to prove themselves to themselves, if that makes sense. Nothing is ever their fault and if a women is beaten, in the attackers warped mind, her actions or words are the reason for the beating and so she brought it upon herself. Therefore it's justified.

[goodlife]

//post is just an excuse to evangelise and offers no insight or even relevance//

No,for wife, who knows that she is very dear to her husband feels warm and safe inside.

God’s Word counsels men to have such love for their wives.......Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, . . . the two will become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:28, 29, 31)
The same holds true in this case when a husband applies the Bible counseled to love and cherish you:

He does so that impel him to do so from the heart.
LazyGun@ evangelise and offers no insight or even relevance// Poor you.