My Wife Left Me

[Patsy33]

My wife left me due to my obsession with football. We've been married for 15 seasons..

[Canary42]

That would be Spring Summer Autumn Winter Spring Summer Autumn Winter Spring Summer Autumn Winter Spring Summer and Autumn.

[zebo]

Tell her she's offside and there will be penalties, if can find her that is.

[DTCwordfan]

A Devon pensioner citizen drove his brand new Porsche sports car out of his local Exeter  dealership. Taking off down the M5, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left.

"Amazing," he thought as he flew up the motorway towards Taunton, pushing the accelerator pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a traffic Panda, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the policeman's

Pulling in behind him, the cop got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Porsche . He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, This is a first for me, someone of your age doing over 110 -  what the hell are you up to? Look, tell you what, my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday and I have a day off tomorrow and want to get away. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard-- I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused then said: "Five years ago, my wife ran off with one of you Exeter traffic cops. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good evening, Sir," replied the traffic cop.

[Khandro]

I thought it was going to be the old one;

"My wife's run off with my best friend .... and I do miss him".

[Patsy33]

I need to get the ball rolling and try and tackle this..

[DTCwordfan]

Patsy advert to her local rag, 'One OH to trade out, particularly to a randy Traffic Cop of either sex.' Pick him up on the local Motorway......