Mammoth, Black, Roaming Earth: Weapon...
Crosswords2 mins ago
A Seminar
I have just been to a seminar discussing mythical Welsh creatures. It didn’t half drag on.
I applied for a job as a psychic once. It was a short interview; all they asked was “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I bought a shoe horn last week. Still can’t get a decent tune out of it.
I was in London today and saw a taxi full of spotty youth, it was an acne carriage.
What do you call a cat with three ears? A muscat. Surely you have heard of the three muscat ears.
Someone just tried putting a black gown and a stupid curly wig on me in the street. I hate it when people judge me.
My partner found a sick bird today, then he started screaming at me telling me he wants to take it home. I said, “Alright love, keep your heron.”
When questioned by the police I finally admitted to being the person who runs through our town naked and painted gold. I just couldn’t conceal my gilt.
Over the last few days I’ve received three anonymous presents. A bag of almonds, a packet of brazils and a tin of cashews. I have no idea who it is, but they are sending me nuts.
The Ventriloquists Guild has responded with positive reviews for my new book “CPR for Dummies.”
I applied for a job as a psychic once. It was a short interview; all they asked was “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I bought a shoe horn last week. Still can’t get a decent tune out of it.
I was in London today and saw a taxi full of spotty youth, it was an acne carriage.
What do you call a cat with three ears? A muscat. Surely you have heard of the three muscat ears.
Someone just tried putting a black gown and a stupid curly wig on me in the street. I hate it when people judge me.
My partner found a sick bird today, then he started screaming at me telling me he wants to take it home. I said, “Alright love, keep your heron.”
When questioned by the police I finally admitted to being the person who runs through our town naked and painted gold. I just couldn’t conceal my gilt.
Over the last few days I’ve received three anonymous presents. A bag of almonds, a packet of brazils and a tin of cashews. I have no idea who it is, but they are sending me nuts.
The Ventriloquists Guild has responded with positive reviews for my new book “CPR for Dummies.”
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