Absolutely Gutted - Relationship

[TheSuburbs]

Myself and this girl went to the same school together. I was a year above her and I really liked her but I never had the guts to tell her any thing. Last year she added me on Facebook and I got so excited but we still didn't talk much but over the past two weeks we have been talking via Blackberry Messenger and we decided we would meet up on Monday (Just gone)

So I got the train and met her, we went out for a Coffee then to a Weatherspoons for a couple of pints then for a nice walk up the canal then to another bar for something to eat.

At the end, I gave her a kiss and a hug and left and got the train home.

On the Monday I was supposed to get her a rose but I totally forgot to last night I found her address and organized 12 roses to be sent to her house and I text her earlier asking her if shes going to be home tomorrow and she kept asking why so I eventually told her and she told me to cancel it, then deleted me of Blackberry Messenger and Facebook because of it. She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet.

She has a boyfriend and I know this, I went to see her as a friend and nothing else, the kiss was just a friend kiss and that was it. Herself and her Boyfriend don't get a long and have loads of problems and she said to me to wait till after Christmas and New Year to see if anything would happen between us. I was hopefull but if nothing happened that would be ok, just being friends would be good.

Then she goes and does this when I was just wanting to send her some roses, what's wrong with that? I said I would get her this necklace for Christmas (as I do with most friends) and she said that's too weird too.

I'm lost for words, I feel sick because of this! what did I do wrong :(

[Bluestone]

You looked up her home address on the internet and then sent her flowers?

Yep. That makes you a creep.
Sorry if that isn't the answer you want to hear, but it's you in this situation, not me. I have tried to tell you to back off and wait a bit, but you seem hellbent on stalking this poor girl... who already has a boyfriend.

My suggestion to you would be to back off, move on and get over it.

[joko]

i dont think looking for her number is stalky - on its own!
its all the other stuff together with it that makes it all look a bit much

[TheSuburbs]

Over Whelming? 12 Roses? she asked for them so I got them, what more can I do?

[TheSuburbs]

I'm not any more, I won't be contacting her again and I will apologize when the time is right.

[Bluestone]

You are obviously pretty frustrated with the situation, and maybe annoyed that she doesn't want to be with you and has a new boyfriend, but you need to let it go. You're just torturing yourself.
There are plenty of other girls out there... :-)

[joko]

perhaps she is trying to be cruel to be kind - get rid of you so you dont pine over her - and be pushy etc

it is indeed uncomfotable having to deal with unwanted attention - especially so fast and over and over again - it feels mean and you know you are hurting them - but you cannot do anything else

perhaps she could see that if she didnt nip it in the bud now things would get a bit much

[Canary42]

You asked a question, I answered it. Your subsequent rudeness because it didn't suit you confirms to me the validity of my judgement. Thank you for that.

[TheSuburbs]

@BlueStone

She does not want to be with her current boyfriend and this is why we met up, just to see each other and have a chat and a few beers. She suggested the kiss the night before we met and the holding of hands..I was not expecting anything relationship wise.

Some of you are making a mountain out of a molehill big time!

[boxtops]

I think you've missed her point - she didn't ask for a bouquet, she hinted she'd like one, and since this was a Valentine's practice in your school, I'd bet she wanted it on 14 February - not immediately.

[joko]

she DID NOT ask you to get her a dozen roses!

she jokingly commented about not getting one from you when you were children!

massive, massive difference!

[boxtops]

If she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend, let her leave him - then it might be your chance. She's not married to him, she's surely free to leave. If she wants to.

[Bluestone]

I agree with Canary. Suburbs, you are quite rude!

[TheSuburbs]

I'm sorry if I am coming across as rude but your all making me out to be the bad person in this! i did what she asked me to do, I made no moves or like that or anything

[tamborine]

Better to have found out her fickleness early than later. Give her a miss, she aint worth your attention.

[TheSuburbs]

I will be rude if people dont read what I write properly.

[boxtops]

She didn't ask (not from what you tell us), she asked for 1 rose - and that wasn't a direct ask, just a throwaway comment. A dozen roses is a statement of love, not a joke. Necklaces and so on is far too early.

[joko]

ok we are making a mountain out of a mole hill ... so obviosuly you did absolutely nothing wrong at all then eh?

you asked a question, we answered.

you keep telling yourself you did nothing wrong ... but she and people here have said otherwise

[boxtops]

... and you ask us in your OP what did you do wrong, but you don't like it when we are telling you.

[Bluestone]

I think we should all just agree with the OP here.
Yes, thesuburbs, you are right. She sounds like one ungrateful bitch who clearly played you for all it's worth!
You sound like a martyr, a really nice and non-stalkerish guy. She is a fool to let you go.


There. Is that better?

[Canary42]

////I will be rude if people don't read what I write properly. ////

Attitude alert ! ! ! ! !