Absolutely Gutted - Relationship

[TheSuburbs]

Myself and this girl went to the same school together. I was a year above her and I really liked her but I never had the guts to tell her any thing. Last year she added me on Facebook and I got so excited but we still didn't talk much but over the past two weeks we have been talking via Blackberry Messenger and we decided we would meet up on Monday (Just gone)

So I got the train and met her, we went out for a Coffee then to a Weatherspoons for a couple of pints then for a nice walk up the canal then to another bar for something to eat.

At the end, I gave her a kiss and a hug and left and got the train home.

On the Monday I was supposed to get her a rose but I totally forgot to last night I found her address and organized 12 roses to be sent to her house and I text her earlier asking her if shes going to be home tomorrow and she kept asking why so I eventually told her and she told me to cancel it, then deleted me of Blackberry Messenger and Facebook because of it. She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet.

She has a boyfriend and I know this, I went to see her as a friend and nothing else, the kiss was just a friend kiss and that was it. Herself and her Boyfriend don't get a long and have loads of problems and she said to me to wait till after Christmas and New Year to see if anything would happen between us. I was hopefull but if nothing happened that would be ok, just being friends would be good.

Then she goes and does this when I was just wanting to send her some roses, what's wrong with that? I said I would get her this necklace for Christmas (as I do with most friends) and she said that's too weird too.

I'm lost for words, I feel sick because of this! what did I do wrong :(

[boxtops]

Well I'm not playing, bluestone - he asked, we've advised. I'd run a mile if some bloke moved that fast on me.

[joko]

look, if you go to her and start complaining that you havent done anything wrong, and defending it and blaming her, you will just get her back up, she will feel bad because, 'on paper', no, you havent done anything majorly wrong - but you have inspired in her a creepy 'feeling' ... and moaning at her that you just did what she wanted wont help.

just say sorry, say you didnt realise that shed take it that way and you misunderstood her request, that you thought shed like them, say you hope you can still be mates etc and leave it at that - show her you are not creepy and stalky... by leaving her alone...

[boxtops]

well put, joko :-)

[AlwaysConfused]

How long since you were at school together, if you don't mind me asking? Knowing how long it's been would help. As I said, a few drinks a-flowing, and we either speak bolocs or far too truly. It sounds to me that she told you her relationship wasn't that great to make you feel better about yourself, maybe to think you had a chance. She realised that you like her, and was taken by the flattery and she took it a bit far. Most people like an ego boost from time to time.

OR she likes you, but the thought of her BF finding out this way would be unforgiveable. OR BF found messages, BF deleted you?

I stick with my previous post, lay off until a new years message. If she is planning to up sticks and leave, it certainly wouldn't be over the Christmas period!

[Mick-Talbot]

She suggested the kiss the night before we met and the holding of hands..I was not expecting anything relationship wise.



That is a tad unusual...tell me more about this.

[joko]

also... if she really liked you that way and really saw you as a potential relationship shed have been skipping round her bedroom to get those flowers ... the fact that she wasnt and was put off by it gives you the answer to the question of whether she wants to be with you ... sorry but its no...

[Bluestone]

Lol. I was going to point that out, but bit my tongue instead.

[ChuckFickens]

If you want to scare yourself try working out what percentage of your wage goes in tax in one way or another.

You've got
Income tax
NI
Council tax
VAT (plus tax on profits the retailer makes from the sale)
tax on fuel (plus tax on profits the retailer makes from the sale)
Tax on drinks (plus tax on profits the retailer makes from the sale)
Tax on ciggies (plus tax on profits the retailer makes from the sale)
Road tax

Plus loads more!


Remembering that every time you buy something there are probably at least 3-4 people in the supply chain paying tax, plus people in the distribution chain paying tax on you getting that product.

Basically it comes down to we work to pay tax.

[Bluestone]

Lol chuckie. I'm sure this will help thesuburbs out.
Why not throw some KY jelly in there too! ;P

[ChuckFickens]

oppps :)

[Bluestone]

Did you slip? :P

[ChuckFickens]

No, it was totally the correct thread, just nobody understands me :)

[Bluestone]

haha. Weirdo :P

[Mick-Talbot]

See............everyone is on the lash tonight.

[Bluestone]

Lol. It's Christmas, oh Micky boy :-))

[NOX]

The thing is suburbs dependent upon how the object of your affections views you this is either a grand gesture of how much esteem you hold them in and the efforts you are prepared to go to for them or it's too full on, they are shocked , surprised and feel uncomfortable. Most women these days tbh would pitch a fit about something like this as they view it as too full on, so word to the wise- don't do it. Grand gestures are best left for when a relationship is already in place and you need a little something extra to remind her of how special she is. At the moment you don't have a relationship, so it should have been more circumspect and gentle.
As joko says, wait a few days then write message or text or whatever and apologise and say you didn't mean anything by it and you are sorry if it worried or distressed her and then leave her alone and hopefully she'll have a think about it and realise there was no harm meant. If not you'll just have to let it go and use it as a life lesson.

[Bluestone]

Listen to NOX.... he'e the dog! :))

[bednobs]

If she was your g/f, how do you think you would view another man giving her 12 roses?

[NeonBible]

I would like to apologize for some of the things I said last night. I really did not explain myself well and I will try and do this properly now.

Shes 19, im 23, I left school in 2006 and she left in 2009 and like I said, when we were at school I liked her a lot and after talking to her recently she told me the same and asked me why I didn't make a move..I told I was nervous and scared and she understood.

She hates her current boyfriend, she gets used by him all the time and she just lets him do it but I really can't say anything because it's now my place.

She said to me the night before " I eventually want something to happen between us soon but right now I need to get Christmas and New Year out the way so we will just have to have a " cheeky " kiss for now " and she said she would like it if I would hold her hand up the canal.

She went on about Roses and on the day I forgot and I said to her on BBM that I am sorry I forgot and that I would get her some, I knew the street she lived on but not the number so I just Googled it! I did not think this way creepy but if it is then my bad.

She went crazy because yesterday when the flowers would be delivered, her 'boyfriend' would be there and would go crazy and said it would't be as bad if my name wasn't on a car and it wasn't, it just said " just because... "

I am being made out to be this creep (my own fault) but i'm not! i'm a generally nice guy with only the best intentions and I will repeat that I was just going on with what she said. She said if I did something (like a move) she didn't like yet then she would tell me but she never said a word. We hugged and I left.

I will leave her to it, and I hope in the future I can explain to her why I did what I did and that it wasn't to cause something like this.

Once again, I am sorry for my comment, I was out of order and I do apologize.

I hope you all have a good Christmas and New Year,

My best,

Suburbs

[NeonBible]

I actually sent her a message on BBM saying " I want to get you some Roses because I missed the chance " and she replied " N'awahhh :) if she didn't want them then she would of said no?

To save any confusion, I de-activated my account last night and had to open a new one in a new name.