Absolutely Gutted - Relationship

[TheSuburbs]

Myself and this girl went to the same school together. I was a year above her and I really liked her but I never had the guts to tell her any thing. Last year she added me on Facebook and I got so excited but we still didn't talk much but over the past two weeks we have been talking via Blackberry Messenger and we decided we would meet up on Monday (Just gone)

So I got the train and met her, we went out for a Coffee then to a Weatherspoons for a couple of pints then for a nice walk up the canal then to another bar for something to eat.

At the end, I gave her a kiss and a hug and left and got the train home.

On the Monday I was supposed to get her a rose but I totally forgot to last night I found her address and organized 12 roses to be sent to her house and I text her earlier asking her if shes going to be home tomorrow and she kept asking why so I eventually told her and she told me to cancel it, then deleted me of Blackberry Messenger and Facebook because of it. She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet.

She has a boyfriend and I know this, I went to see her as a friend and nothing else, the kiss was just a friend kiss and that was it. Herself and her Boyfriend don't get a long and have loads of problems and she said to me to wait till after Christmas and New Year to see if anything would happen between us. I was hopefull but if nothing happened that would be ok, just being friends would be good.

Then she goes and does this when I was just wanting to send her some roses, what's wrong with that? I said I would get her this necklace for Christmas (as I do with most friends) and she said that's too weird too.

I'm lost for words, I feel sick because of this! what did I do wrong :(

[TheSuburbs]

Potentional Relationship* Should I say

[MASS1961]

Take a step back and maybe after Christmas get in touch again but move SLOWLY

[joko]

you did exactly what she said - came on too strong.

this was not a date but sending a dozen red roses is not 'just sending her a few flowers' - its what lovers do - its the biggest cliche of a love gesture there is!
and yes looking up her address is a bit strange - as if you were that close you would know it- or she'd tell you if you asked ... you clearly hardly know her.

she has a boyfriend and expects you to respect that regardless of your opinion on the state of her relationship

just leave her alone for a bit... have minimal contact - dont buy her xmas presents - you said yourself thats for your mates - she isnt really close enough to you to buy gifts for.

send an xmas card with a simple greeting - and leave it at that.
dont do all that 'casual' contact, where you pretend its an innocent reason and fake chance meeting stuff - as its a dead giveaway.
let her contact you.

[Canary42]

My god, do you realise just how pushy you are ?

You've probably destroyed any hope of a future relationship here, she'll think you an utter Control Freak to be avoided at all costs.

Learn from it, and seek elsewhere.

[TheSuburbs]

I actually live about a 40 min train ride away, but she wanted the roses and now I got them shes acting like this. On the day we walked on her street and I just needed the number and she wanted to keep things 'low-key'

Life lesson learnt.

[Bluestone]

Awww. You sound like a really nice guy... up until the bit where you say you found her address on the internet.

*STALKER ALERT*STALKER ALERT*

Seriously though, you sound as though you had good intentions, but it does come across as a bit, well, weird. (I'm just being honest)

I would say, leave it a little bit, until after the new year, and then message her again. If she met you for a drink/lunch then she's obviously interested. You just probably scared the life out of her with the whole "I know where you live" thing.

Chin up buddy. It'll all be ok :-)

[TheSuburbs]

@Canary, im sorry but your speaking out your arse! I was only doing what she wanted! she wanted the Roses so I got them, she went to kiss me and I kissed her back and that was it.

I'm not pushy at all

[boxtops]

You say "relationship" in your heading, but you don't have a relationship - and she's going out with someone else. The flowers and necklace thing is far too much, far too soon. Back off. She's deleted your friend status - you're acting far too pushy. Whether or not she and her current man don't get on, it's not your business yet. Leave it, see what happens if you do.

[boxtops]

^ your post wasn't there when I started - you say she asked you for the roses? That is very odd behaviour - she came right out and asked you?

[TheSuburbs]

@Bluestone

As I said in a previous post, we walked on her street and she told me this I just couldn't catch the number of her house to send the roses.

[TheSuburbs]

Yes Boxtop, when we were in school, every Valentines day stuudents were able to send Roses to other pupils in the school who the person liked and I never did it for her and when we were talking on Blackberry she said " now will I get my rose "

[Bluestone]

"She said I was coming on to strong and that I was a 'creep' for finding her address even though it's publicly available on the internet. "


???

You sound like a creep

[AlwaysConfused]

send a happy new year text (at new year, obviously!), see what you get back. If you do get to see her again, apologise for coming on too strong, just explain that you've always fancied her and had been over-optimistic that she fancied the pants off you! Lighten the situation, laugh with her.

You both had a few drinks? It's none to surprising what alcohol can do. Maybe her relationship isn't going to well, she needed a shoulder to cry on. Maybe she said that to test the water, because she likes you too?

Roses, necklaces, finding out addresses.....woman liked to be spoilt, but the smell of desperation is off-putting. Try being yourself, I'm sure that'd be the winner

[TheSuburbs]

A releatiohip just doesn't mean when two people are together, it can be friendship etc.

[joko]

well obviously you didnt do what she wanted - or she wouldnt have deleted you!

what did she actually say to you about the roses ?

you have obviously misread the signs somehow... lets see if we can tell you and then you can tell her you misunderstood

[Bluestone]

Have to agree with alwaysconfused. She sounds like she'd had a few drinks and kissed and hugged you because of this. I wouldn't read anything more into it.

I retract my "it'll all be ok" statement, as I have since thought about the whole "I know where you live" thing.

[TheSuburbs]

A creep for looking for a number, your so right Bluestone with your usual Sugar.

Ever wanted to send letter but didn't know a part of the address? I know I have and I have used Royal Mail Post Code finder, is this stalking?

[tamborine]

awww, she used you to make her bf jealous.....send me the roses x

[joko]

it sounds like a throwaway comment - she wasn actually asking you to get her flowers!
if you were to follow through you should have brought her a single rose next time you saw her - for an 'in-joke'... you sent her a dozen and then went on at her about when shed be in to get them!

she may have even thought you were going to turn up...

[boxtops]

That's different, suburbs - finding out where someone lives and overwhelming her with gifts is not comfortable for a woman. I agree with the girl, you're coming on too strong.

Got something personal against Bluestone, have you? Insulting people when you've only been a member a fortnight is not a very friendly thing to do.