Good bye answerbank

[mibn2cweus]

Since Naomi will not give me the ****ing key I have decided to follow Jesus and be a Christian just like Theland. I am ashamed of my past history here so I'm going to devote the time I used to spend on ab to reading the Bible. No question really because I no longer care about what people think. I'll get all my answers from God from now on thank you.

[Theland1]

Naomi - Welcome back to the Temple Of Reason.
We can't wait to see your holiday snaps, (and open our prezzies that you so thoughtfully brought back with you. Duty free disposable rubber gloves, bars of rock, cowboy hats, grass skirts, knitted thongs, and possibly, just possibly, a new seat for my bike.)

[naomi24]

D'ya reckon a camel saddle might help you in your current plight, Theland? Could fix you up with one of those shortly if you like. Few nice blankets chucked over it, and you're away. Or .... hang on a minute ...... how about swapping the bike in for a whole camel? Easy to park - doesn't need its tyres pumping up - low cost maintenance - just a bit of dry grass and cheap on the water rates. Yes, that's it!! No Duty Free cigarettes for you this time, Theland - I know exactly what I'm bringing you back!

http://www.comedy-zone.net/pictures/animals/an imals64.htm

Oh, I really think I've cracked it!! (And so have you it seems!).

[Theland1]

That looks like me and Evelyn getting our heads on straight in the mornings!
(Cough cough cough cough choke cough!)

[naomi24]

So it's a no then? Oh, well. I'll keep thinking - but it's your derriere that's suffering and I'm only trying to help. (I was wondering how I could get it through Customs anyway. Lovely smile though. Shame it won't be getting a passport picture done).

[China Doll]

We'd like to know why the camels can't smoke there?

[Theland1]

Never mind the camels, (although one of them is particularly good looking), and just get me some bum armour! I must ride again tonight. I can't let my public down.
The show must go on!

[naomi24]

Ahhhhh ...... we're back to the roar of the greasepaint .... the smell of the crowd ..... and if that lot are anything to go by .... phew ... doesn't bear thinking of. Oh, them was the days. Ripley on her trapeze, China whinging about sparkly outfits and spotlights ...... oooo ... takes me back, it does, and does me poor ol' 'eart the weld a good.

China, everyone knows that camels can't smoke there 'cos smoking's bad for you.

Which leads me to another question. Why is anything we enjoy bad for us? I mean, you like your bike, don't you Theland? And what happened? LOOK BEHIND YOU!!

Ah, back to the theatricals. Enter China (wish you'd change your name!! Hummph .. onwards) stage left, and enter Theland (your's doesn't sound too hot either when put into this context!) stage right ....... and ..... ACTION!

[naomi24]

Cough .... cough ..... I said 'ACTION'!!

Oh, why does no one ever listen to me? (Sniff)

[China Doll]

Enter Theland? Another visit to the proctologist? I think him and Mibs must like it in there.

I would like to dob Kpnuts in for locking us out the house for the afternoon, (she posted my keys through the door). I told her what would happen if she went that blonde but did she listen to me? Did she 'eck! I'm nominating her for the clown act, she'd look great with a red nose.

[naomi24]

So China wouldn't think I was ignoring her requests for me to come back here, I only read the last couple of pages before I made my grand entrance today, and I've just spent AGES going through the rest of this thread - and my gob is completely and utterly smacked! It's AMAZING! Oh, what a wonderful place to get away from it all. Far better than Skegness, I can tell you! The lunatics appear to have taken over the asylum more than ever elsewhere, so do please let's keep this little hidey hole, Mibs.

[Theland1]

God bless Mibs, and all who sail in him!
We were just comparing notes on prostate glands when into the room walked the female contingent. Quickly adjusting my trousers, as Mibs disposed of the rubber gloves, we thoroughly washed our hands and proceeded to select a rare vintage from the, 'bottom,' shelf at Sainsburys, (where else? The shelf I mean!)
Tonight is Bingo night, and Magister Ludi is going to shake his balls and hopefully produce the correct numbers to win me a brand new space age, "Bum Protector," cycling saddle, for which I will be eternally grateful.
China - Does Naomi know that you were bragging about your home castration kit?
Some people collect stamps, or bake bread, but it takes all sorts I suppose. (Alas!)

[naomi24]

Yes, I did vaguely catch that, Theland. I need to go over the posts again though to take that and the rest of it all in (so to speak).

Seriously though, this is brilliant thread. Philosophy .....poetry ..... humour ....... friendship ....... erm .... nonsense ..... what more could anyone ask?

HOWEVER ...... I'M CONFUSED. ('What's new', I hear you cry!). And this is a serious question. Do my opinions really come across as pretty scary? If so, why? (Being the sensitive soul I truly am, I'm not absolutely sure it's wise of me to ask this, but I'm going to press submit - and duck! Custard pies at ten paces coming up!).

My husband, in the other room, has just turned the sound up on the Platters 'Only You'. Time to go, methinks. (Who can think straight with that going on - especially after the obligatory few glasses?). Night, night, my dears. Sleep tight - and may you have beautiful dreams.

[mibn2cweus]

Naomi, What would have been the point of all our mischief if we couldn�t anticipate a good thrashing when you got home. So it was all for naught. Welcome home anyhow! I suppose we�ll all just have to �try harder�.

I 4 1 could us a little more of your help here, what with Theland�s repeated forays into the whine cellar and China Doll messin� with my mind.

[naomi24]

Thanks Mibs. Got my wellies .....now where's that cane?

And now they've both disappeared! I'm back, and they've disappeared! Is there something they're not telling me? Is my deodorant not working? Am I more of a pain in the bum than Theland's saddle? Are they scared of me? Am I a bully? Am I paranoid? No! It can't be me! Yes, it probably is! Am I arguing with myself, just as they did - and if I am, who's winning? Is it me - or is it her - and if it's her, how can I convince her she's wrong? i think I need to shut myself in a dark room to contemplate my future on AB. Dark room? Mmmm ....wiiine cellaaar.

[Theland1]

Lovely friends! Bear with me whilst I pour my heart out! (Again!)
I am devastated!
My 17 year old son went to the hospital yesterday, and his friend went with him.
It was the first appointment with consultants that I have missed in 7 years.
I was ready to go with him, but, he is a teenager, and he said he wanted his friend to go to save bothering me!
Bothered? My son?
But I relented. What a mistake!
(Continued).

[Theland1]

(Continued),
When he came back about 5pm he was near to collapse he was so upset. I cuddled him and his tears ran down my shirt, as he told me that yet another operation was almost a certainty.
His education has been destroyed, and he is in too much pain to attend college or take a job.
Last week he applied for an apprenticeship, but even if he was successful, he couldn't take it it because of the pain, or post operative convalescence.
He is a tough guy, but has reached his breaking point.
Mibs said, quite wisely, that pity is an affront to the giver and receiver, but I don't want pity, nor does my son.
I'm just writing to try to achieve the therapeutic effect that AB has on me from time to time.
We have four cats, and I feel like lining them up and kicking them, and I would if it would do any good. But then again I love my cats, (although I hate the seat on my bike!)
I refuse to give up my sense of twisted humour. It keeps me going. Not everybodys' cup of tea, but a lifeline for me at times like this.
(Continued)

[Theland1]

(Continued)
I am also elated!
My eldest son has just moved into a sandstone cottage, built, (according to the date inscribed in the stonework above the door, in 1782.
The walls are 14 inches thick, it has beams across the ceiling and is beautiful.
I am delighted for him and his newly qualified nurse partner.
Do you see? Do you see? I can't help making comparisons between my eldest and my 17 year old.
I am utterly gutted.
But that's it!
Now I am going to answer Nims posts.
I love you all. I really mean that!

[Theland1]

Special Announcement
Let it be known that for some considerable time, I have referred to Naomi on occasion, as, Great Heart.<b/>
Her previous post is for some obscure reason, displaying an odd paranoia as to her perceived image.
Forceful? Yes!
Integrity? Yes!
Honesty? Yes!
Strong? Yes!
Good at bringing prezzies back from the naturis beach in Skegness? No! Definitely not! Mibs and I are running out of rubber gloves!
But, be it known that Naomi is always, "Great Heart," to me.

[Theland1]

Today I bought myself a "Dayglo" shoulder bag to carry my wares whilst on my bike.
Reduced from �21 to �8.75 probably because it is very very bright yellow!
This is my new image, a, "Geeky Nerd on two wheels!"
Be sure to give me a wave if you pass me by!

[naomi24]

Theland, This is one of those rare moments that has rendered me practically speechless - but not quite! Such opposing emotions. Can the pain your 17 year old is suffering not be more effectively controlled? What is this next operation for, and what eventual effect will that have on the pain he's currently suffering? Will the operation alleviate it to any great degree? If so, then although he is unable to accept the apprenticeship, or work now, maybe he will be able to later on, so there is hope. Don't see your glass as half empty, because that means surrender - and we must never surrender to what life throws at us. See your glass as half full, and concentrate on hope. Not easy in these circumstances, I know, but positive thought usually produces positive results. I really believe that. Lots of love to you. x