lapdancing clubs

[liquidspace]

My partner is going on a stag weekend to Bournemouth. I On both nights he is going to lapdancing clubs. This doesn't sit well with me and I think most of those clubs are totally naked now. I can't help not liking the thought of him sitting there while naked girls gyrate around him. I have told him I am not happy about it but he says that as he wants to go he will, regardless of my feelings.

Are the women right with me on this one?

[eyeshade]

Surely its dance but don't touch isn't it, so whats the problem?

[beejaybee]

I can`t see any problem with him going either. I`d have no problem if it was my husband.

[cheries]

Hi Liquid.
Now, I can post here from genuine previous experience. The girls your fella is likely to see on this stag do are going to bleed him dry for about �100, talk to him for approximately 30 seconds, and then get their kit off in exactly 3 minutes whilst thinking about what they'll be having for tea that evening and how much washing their is still to do at home.
The rule of licenced lapdancing clubs is no touching or you are asked to leave, so believe me when I tell you that the whole experience is about as sexy as getting your bikini line waxed - everything is out for all to see but it's the wrong context.
I suspect that you are more upset about the fact that he is refusing to acknowledge your feelings about this issue, which raises difficult questions in your relationship.
Is he going just to be one of the lads? He can't really stand outside and wait for them all night can he?
Believe me, there's very little that's sexy about a lapdancer. They all wear wigs anyway chick.

[Ethel]

No problem for me, either.

[scarymary]

im with you on this liquidspace ! i would feel the same if my partner wanted to go.

[liquidspace]

Thanks cheries for that. I can see though that when you say it is not a turn on I think you are talking from the girls' point of view. From the man sitting there taking it all in, it is different. They will go home with the images in their head and get great sexual pleasure from thinking about it. No man can fail to be turned on with a naked strange girl shaking it all over his face.

You ladies that say it doesn't bother you, have you actually visualised your husbands/bfs sitting there with a big smile getting turned on by other girls and not giving you the slightest thought. I think that when they come and have sex with you after, it is not you they have in their head.

[eyeshade]

I think my husband has done far worse things than this in our time, and if it took someone like a plain old lapdancer to only turn him only then I would deff be bothered but this is not the case. I think you have to say to yourself that there is nothing to be worried about. The lapdancers are doing it in front of lots of blokes not just yours. She isn't going to make a bee line for him only and have rampant sex with him there and then. Let him go and forget it.

[ChocolatChip]

I do agree with you liquidspace. I wouldn't like my partner going out to a lapdancing club. Although I would let him, since it is no touching, and if it was his stag do, it would be his little bit of 'freedom.'
Have you asked him how he would feel if you had a male stripper to your hen do?
If he really doesn't mind then I guess you'd have to let him go, because it would be the same. But at least then myabe he'd have an idea of how you're feeling.

[leg_end758]

is it any different from a group of tanked up ladettes perving over some male stripper covered in cream?

i guess its different for girls eh??

[jno]

Cheries is right. He won't come home a depraved sex monster - but what is troubling is that he's said he'll do what he wants regardless of your feelings. In real relationships people do consider each other's feelings; he'd at least talk it through rather than just walking out the door. This sort of thing happen often? A little sensitivity training might be in order.

[tiny e.a]

leg_end758 your point was irrelevant.

I would certainly be unhappy if my boyfriend chose to go to lapdancing clubs every single weekend, but if he was going as a one off with a group of friends on a stag do I wouldn't care at all. Perhaps if he spent a fortune on private dances I'd be peeved but I trust him completely so know he wouldn't do that. I also know that he loves me and so other naked women gyrating around infront of him may well be a turn at the immediate time but it'd be me he wants when he gets home. I'm sure it'll be the same with your boyfriend.

[sophie_1003]

I wouldn't mind my boyfriend watching a stripper but wouldn't like him getting a private lapdance, the same way he wouldn't want me to (if that service is even offered by male strippers) not that id want to anyway! But the thing that would annoy me in this situation is his total disregard for your feelings! Get a stripper and have an ann summers party and buy the biggest toy you can and say your going to use it on him if you want regardless of his feelings!! See how he feels then!

[Skreecheeboy]

I don't think Legend's post was irrelevant at all. What do birds do on their hen nights. It's exactly the bloody same! Let the man go and enjoy his last night of freedom with the lads FFS! I was on a joint stag do in the summer in some of the seediest cities in Europe and not one of us paid for sex there where it was all around us had we wanted it.

[sophie_1003]

Actually liquidspace hasn't said what she's doing so maybe she's doing something less wild! All the stereotypical hen night stuff doesn't appeal to me at all and I wouldn't do anything 'ladette-ish' unless my boyfriend had a stripper then I might just so I couldn't feel jealous!

[sophie_1003]

Also, sorry to moan but hate the whole 'last night of freedom' thing, you're not 'free' you are still engaged to this person and should have respect for their feelings!

[cazzz1975]

the key is to never marry... just have a long term relationship so although he thinks he isnt wearing a ball n chain, he in fact is! :)

[Skreecheeboy]

So respect is just a one way street is it then? The guy needs closure. Give him a break! I'll repeat what I said before, it's his last night of freedom, allow him a blow out before he ties the knot, is shackled to the ball and chain etc etc....he is about to make the biggest committment of his life so he's a lot freer than he will be when they are married. Respect is a two way process, it's not automatic and he deserves the chance to shelve that part of his male nature before being bound to a life of servitude and love with his soon to be wife. That's assuming it's his stag do of course!