Three men talking
Three married men were talking one evening about how they dealt with their wives when they had been out drinking late.
The first man said "I turn out the lights on the car as I appoach the house and kill the engine so she won't hear me pulling in. I slip in the back door and quietly slip into bed."
The second man said "I park up the block and just sleep on the couch so I don't wake her up."
The third man says "Boys you're going about this all wrong. I pull up to the front door, throw it open, kick the cat out of the way and yell "Who's ready to flump?!" "She's never says a word."