Invited Without Baby

[DeeLicious]

We are planning to have a few neighbours round for festive drinkipoos, and we want to invite a nice couple but don't want them to bring their baby who's about a year old. Is there an acceptable way of phrasing that invite? Tin hat on waiting for abuse at us not wanting them to bring their baby....

[naomi24]

I recall having a conversation with a ‘right-on’ mum - a veritable Earth Mother - about the pros and cons of taking a three year old to a restaurant and allowing him/her/it (depending upon the way said mother wanted the child to self-identify that week) run amok. She said that by allowing the child to wander around the restaurant at will she was encouraging experience and learning. In my estimation, however, in allowing that she was doing the child no favours whatsoever. The social graces, the rules of etiquette, and most importantly of all, the courtesy to respect other people would remain a mystery to that child and anti-social behaviour would be his/her/its forte.

I think what people tend to forget is that whilst your own children are, to you, the best thing since sliced bread, for other people they don’t even reach the dough mixer.

[sanmac]

Well, I guess it seems that you didn't appreciate my parachuting parody.

[237SJ]

^ You don't see any of that behaviour in other countries (Far East, Arica etc) It's a British thing (and US which is where we got the idea about letting little darlings express themselves from)

[237SJ]

*Africa*

[pixie374]

Absolutely, naomi. Taking children out in public, does presume showing them how to behave in public. As I said before, there will always be bad or not bothered parents... but most aren't. And I certainly wouldn't call her an "earth mother". Most want their children to fit in with society and be happy and independent. That sounds more "spoiling" tbh.

[sanmac]

My response was to pixie...Great last paragraph, Naomi:)

[pixie374]

Not really, sanmac... sorry :-)

[Mamyalynne]

Your party, your choice DeeLicious - we always had house parties,as did friends and neighbours.

Children were well catered for whatever their age but not everyone's the same.

I won't add how to word the invite as you've had decent ideas already.

[naomi24]

sanmac, thanks.

[elliemay1]

// She said that by allowing the child to wander around the restaurant at will she was encouraging experience and learning.//

IMO, the child doing that was probably in the way of waiters serving food. If the child had bumped into a waiter and got soup or something else hot spilled on her then I wonder what the parent would say then.

[naomi24]

Absolutely Ellie. We said that too. I expect the mother would sue the restaurant. Not her fault at all.

[sanmac]

Elliemay, unfortunately the poor child would have been introduced to the experience of pain, suffering, and being gobbled up into the infernal machinations of the NHS.

[237SJ]

^The parent would probably try to sue them

[pixie374]

Bad parenting is always possible. Sometimes parents are ill-disciplined, lazy and believe their child should be able to do anything they like. That isn't most parents though.

[sanmac]

Pixie, nobody has implied, in regards to the restaurant situations etc, that most parents are delinquent in handling their kids, only that some are, and these "some" are too many.

[Mamyalynne]

Hardly anyone remembers the well behaved child but you sure don't forget the unruly ones and their parents.

My Grandson aged 6 was pulled up loudly by a waitress who told him to get back in his seat and stop wandering about. He calmly but audibly told her 'Miss, I am just returning from the toilet back to my table and yes,I have washed my hands'

She came over and apologised a few minutes later.

[pixie374]

Fair enough, sanmac... but should "some" be too many for everybody else? How would you suggest children get used to restaurant situations and behaving in these places?
I never had a problem with mine- genuinely- but I took them with me from very young... and made sure they understood how they needed to behave.

[sanmac]

"How would you suggest children get used to restaurant situations and behaving in these places?" The way you explained it in your final paragraph.