Cheating Spouse

[GlitteryWings]

Has anyone managed to move on from a cheating spouse?

Ive recently been breaved within the past month (very close) and then found out my partner has had sex once with someonelse.......... in our home.

Im grieving BOTH situations, not sure if I am numb , id like to try to move on, currently feel as if I can.... this may change when I am thinking straight.

[ummmm]

GW - infidelity is not always about sex. Insecurities!! Do you want a life massaging his ego?

My sex life is a bit sporadic...but we're best mates. It's the affection shown daily that solids our relationship. Humour, love and laughter. Sex life comes second but the more you have the above the higher the sex drive.

[kvalidir]

Can I suggest that however hurt and outraged you might be now is really not the time to punish him, now is the time for communication and if at all possible some manner of reconciliation so that you can be honest with one another and then make a clear and informed choice. You don't want to make any decisions about anything important on the back of feeling angry, hurt, vengeful and let down. This is the time for information gathering, brutal honesty and dissecting what went so badly wrong that this has happened (and other things).
If then you decide that things are too far gone to repair, you can separate with what's best for you clearly in your mind.
It might have been a moment of madness, he may feel you are both not sexually compatible with one another at the moment, he might feel intimidated by the fact that you are always put together when he might be feeling he is struggling, ageing and falling apart and he might have decided to bolster his ego based on feelings you might not even know he has.
Alternatively he might be an arrogant, unfeeling, hollowed out partner who doesn't take your love or needs into consideration, but without a lot of honest communication you will never know, so don't game play whatever you do, talk to him, deeply and meaningfully and get to the bottom of everything not just this because this is almost bound to be a symptom of something more important, and you need to know before you decide what to do. People we love (and actually who love us) do not always behave the way we want (or even they want to deep down) and people get hurt in the crossfire of that, so information is your friend at this point, get it and use it x

[Peter Pedant]

jesus 'infidelity' has a greater galvanising effect on les girls than 'Brexit' does on the usual suspects
(and that is saying something)

[ummmm]

Peter - shut up.

[GlitteryWings]

What lovely helpful posts thank you.

Had to get out of bed there just cant sleep there tonight! The images in my head are not pleasant. Im a bit angry tonight.

Peter probobly glad of a non brexit discussion. The *** has well and truley been ripped out of brexit now.

I have about as much clue about my future as brexit........ none!

[ummmm]

Have you got a spare room?

[Canary42]

Dump him.

[GlitteryWings]

Yes im downstairs for a while then spare room.

I always said i would dump...... but its not as simple!

X

[ummmm]

It's not simple. Love is never simple. Give yourself time x

[murraymints]

best of luck..whichever way you swing xx

[GlitteryWings]

Thanks everyone.

We are under the same roof. He is trying and im keeping cool.

Missing affection though, especially given the circumstances.

Just feel I shouldnt be “normal” so soon, then again when do I “accept” that he is trying!

Confusing stuff!

Thanks again.