Cheating Spouse

[GlitteryWings]

Has anyone managed to move on from a cheating spouse?

Ive recently been breaved within the past month (very close) and then found out my partner has had sex once with someonelse.......... in our home.

Im grieving BOTH situations, not sure if I am numb , id like to try to move on, currently feel as if I can.... this may change when I am thinking straight.

[GlitteryWings]

Sqad.... possibly now

But not so long ago..... GODESS! Hehe.

Im not telling lies. I quite like the fact that a few exs remember me that way ;0>

As I said hubby wasnt always patient or kind and I had a spell of illhealth which didnt help.

[spathiphyllum]

Sounds like you need a girls night out, or in.

[GlitteryWings]

Oh spath dont they were cheesey wotsits!

The part I thought I would have liked sent to Me was how gorgeous she was with a nice heart and he would make her happy and she shouldnt put her nice curvy body down!!!!!

Eh. Shes the same size as me. Im a stone up or down at times but classic hourglass shape.

He said he was filling her head with alot of shhhhhht.

Why? Even if i believe that & not sure that I do? Why would he do that to HER?

[spathiphyllum]

Maybe he feels he's used all his lines on you.. and just wants to make sure he 'still has what it takes' ? Not that he should be AT ALL!

You sound like a fantastic woman glitterwings he sounds like an idiot bless him ;)

[GlitteryWings]

Yes i have said why dont I find someone to have a night with.... easily!!!!!

Not that I would.

I really am going to pick myself up soon. I always have my tan, nails hair &
Lashes done! Make up on!

Get the heels on and out
With the ladies.
Would he stew though? Or get her round!!!!!

[ladybirder]

Actually, I don't think he sounds a very nice person GW.
You are right to take a long hard look at your relationship before this infidelity happened. Just take your time, no rush, and if he can't wait then you have your answer. I hope you make the right decision for you. xx

[GlitteryWings]

Spath I sound like
i love myself and I dont honestly. Im just setting the scene.

Nobodys perfect but I am a nice person. X

[spathiphyllum]

No you don't you just sound like you're just being honest, and at this time you may be feeling lonely, and it's OK to have a laugh and talk it out to try and help get your own mind around it.

As you say.. it was only a couple of days ago

[GlitteryWings]

Sincerely thank you to each and every one of you for the talk.

As I said I have kept it close to my chest at home.

He is a nice person with a few issues! One of those people who folk say “hes well meaning/nice guy/didnt have a great start in life/ he does love you/“ etc etc?

Do you know what I mean? X

[Rockrose]

Sorry but just because he is bored with you and your sex life is not an excuse to seek sex elsewhere despite what some may say.
You take marriage and vows and should take them seriously and not have a bit of fancy when the going gets tough!
And certainly not in your bloody bed!!

[spathiphyllum]

I do totally agree with RR ^

Unless specifically discussed and agreed

[GlitteryWings]

Every 10mins it flashes into my head & I shiver!

I agree RR. I have never even been tempted with offers!!

[GlitteryWings]

I would love to understand the ins & outs of why people enjoy seeing their OH with someonelse!

I have a friend who had a relationship like that! This friend dosent/ wont know so I cant ask!

[GlitteryWings]

Can I be crude?? .......

[Cloverjo]

Carry on, glitterywings.

[Ellipsis]

He sounds like a bit of a prat.

I'm not saying it's happened this time but sometimes when you discover an instance of infidelity there are many more as-yet undiscovered instances.

I would start with the assumption that he has to go, then see if you can work out why on earth you should stick with him, rather than the other way around. Precede each possible reason with the phrase "This man who has betrayed me" to test it out, e.g. "This man who has betrayed me, I would like him to be the father of my children because I'm in my late thirties and I might not be able to find somebody better in time" ...

[GlitteryWings]

I hate the thought that he was OBVIOUSLY turned on to be able to go through with it!!! If you get me.

Thank you Ell x

[Barmaid]

I am sorry for what you are going through Glitterywings. However, I would suggest the following.

Do not react as yet. You are hurt and angry. Hurt people hurt.

I think that you have recently suffered a great loss and this is part of the problem. But the problem goes deeper than that and it is lack of communication. And I mean real effective communication.

My suggestion is that you seek professional couples counselling. It may help you decide whether the relationship is worth saving. And if it is it may help you unlock the tools that you already have to enable your relationship to not only survive but to flourish.

[Theland]

Just say, "I'm going out. Got any spare condoms?"

[GlitteryWings]

I appreciate that Barmaid thank you!

Certainly would not do any harm!!

I think I really will try my hardest..... but I wont be telling HIM that yet!