Coworker Mad At Me For Keeping A Selfie...
Business & Finance2 mins ago
In Hospital
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll be able to walk again and sustain a reasonably normal life, however your penis was severed in the accident and they couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming for the severed member and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. They're roughly £1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should probably discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife about the penis?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?" asks the doctor.
“Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite worktops."
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll be able to walk again and sustain a reasonably normal life, however your penis was severed in the accident and they couldn't find it."
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have £9000 in insurance compensation coming for the severed member and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. They're roughly £1000 an inch."
The man perks up.
"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should probably discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."
The man agrees to talk it over with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife about the penis?"
"Yes I have," says the man.
"And has she helped you make a decision?" asks the doctor.
“Yes" says the man.
"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite worktops."
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