Thoughts

[maggiebee]

My son-in-law's niece is getting married next April. This is his brother's only daughter.  She is marrying her partner of 2 years who also happens to be female.  "For religious reasons" my son-in-law and my daughter will not attend the wedding.  As an elder in the Church of Scotland it apparently goes against all their beliefs.  I feel this is going to cause a family rift. Personally I have no objections, my feeling being that if they are happy and want to share the rest of their lives together then let them get on with it.  Any thoughts?

[ToraToraTora]

I don't believe in any of the fairy tales but I humour them for things like weddings funerals etc. They sound like right plonkers to me. They can have their beliefs but that does not mean they cannot go to family events etc. I don't agree with same sex marraige either for that matter but I'd still go along to one rather than make an issue of it.

[hellywelly4]

I agree with you. I think your daughter and SIL will live to regret their actions. 

[barry1010]

Will they go to the reception?

[barry1010]

The Church of Scotland allows same sex marriage so if their beliefs are so firmly entrenched they need to find another church

[maggiebee]

barry1010 - no they plan to be on holiday.  My son-in-law's mother is going (she's 94).  She doesn't altogether approve but it's her only granddaughter.

[davebro3]

I don't think missing a niece's wedding (for whatever reason) is such a big deal. I don't "do" events of this sort anyway (even if I did get invited!).

[DDIL]

Are you sure it's not the High Church?

Either way she is their daughter and should be happy that she has found someone she loves.

Are you going?

[barry1010]

Maybe the happy couple will be pleased not to have disapproving aunt and uncle turning the atmosphere sour on their big day

[Canary42]

If they want to let belief in fairy tales spoil family harmony, then I agree with your approach, let them go ahead - trying to change them will only make them more stubborn.

[davebro3]

niece not daughter?

[DDIL]

Sorry I read that as their daughter not their niece.

Either way what a terrible thing to do, I would offer to go.

[barry1010]

I learnt long ago that you cannot change a bigot.

Best they stay away

[MargoTester]

Perhaps she should just not invite them - problem solved

[maggiebee]

The religion thing is of long standing. They were members of Hilton Church in Aberdeen.  When the question of same sex marriages was discussed and agreed upon at the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland, half the congregation broke away.  They have since bought new church premises but (as I understand it) are still affiliated to the Church of Scotland.  The wedding is not going to be a church wedding and will be held at a venue in Gasgow where the family live.

[ToraToraTora]

sounds like they are just using it as an excuse because it clashes with their trip.

[maggiebee]

TTT not an excuse - no trip has been booked yet.  Think this has been a hard decision for my son-in-law as they are quite a close knit family and he loves his niece.

[barry1010]

Do they object to the relationship full stop or just to same sex marriage?

[Old_Geezer]

If it causes a rift then let it cause a rift. That's up to those involved.

 

Each acts according to their conscience. If they've any sense they'll all accept that and not let it bother them in the future. But it's their individual decision.

[Prudie]

So anyone who's true to their religious beliefs is a bigot. If that's what they have grown to believe in then they have every right to only do what they feel is right for them and that is stay away. I'm fully supportive of same sex marriages but it makes me angry to see posters call your family bigots for not agreeing with others, it's a very sensitive subject and needs to be considered without nasty name calling.

[douglas9401]

The folly of playing one social construct against another seems to have passed them all by.