Bereavement card

[Le Chat]

My ex - fiance's younger brother has died recently from a rare cancer. He was only ill for a few months. We were very friendly years ago and have always had a good chat etc when we met up on the odd occasion. I am also still on very good terms with his brother (my ex.) I will be attending the funeral on Friday but in the interim. would like to send a condolence card to his parents, his wife and my ex.
Is there anything I can say in the card ,apart from the usual "sorry for your loss," that will be either helpful or particularly moving? Have any ab'ers who have suffered such a loss ever received a message in such a card that afforded them some comfort, even if only for one second? He was only 36 and his wife had their first baby the day before he died.

[coco clown]

that is tragic!!

"i am sorry i cant offer any words of comfort in this sad time but i want you to know that my heart is with you all!!!"

[curlyfilm]

sorry will not change things, but your thinking of them and the fond memories of him, and that time will heal all, eventually, he will live in their memories ....something like that if it helps

[gazzawazza]

My next door neighbours are a very close family (children and grandchildren are always round the house) and they recently suffered a terrible, terrible tragedy. I found out about this the day after it happened from one of my daughters.
I won't go into details, but even though I hardly knew the person I was absolutely devastated by their news and couldn't even begin to imagine how they must have been feeling. I couldn't get it out of MY mind for weeks afterwards, in fact I still think about it very frequently.

At the time I spent a few days just wondering what to put on the card and simply could not think of anything to adequately express my sorrow and sympathy.
I knew that nothing I could say would make anything any better or easier for them. In the end I just put that they were in all of our thoughts, and hoped that they realised that they really were.

[Le Chat]

I have been round in circles with this, as there really is nothing you can say! I suppose the message of concern is in the actual writing and sending of the card. I will put something simple. Thanks for your answers - this is my second funeral for a young person this year, it feels so wrong. I was so grieved by the first funeral of a friend in May, that I thought to myself "well, I won't be doing that again for a long time!" ...and here we are again.

[raysparx1]

Hello Le Chat,

Very sad thing to happen,it makes you wonder why sometimes,when a good friend of mine died last year,the only thing I could write on a card to to her husband was " I have no wise words that I can say,to help to take the pain away, the grief you feel, the hurt inside,there is no place for you to hide, the pain in time will start to fade,the black will slowly turn to grey,the light will slowly start to glow,the pain will slowly start to go." I did not copy this it just came into my head if you would like to use it or part of it please do, Ray

[Hellion]

Le Chat - this is so sad. The best thing to put in a card it the truth, that you don't know what to say or how to say it but your thought are truly with them at this time and if there is anything you can do in any small way they have only to ask.
Have suffered some sad losses myself over the years one of the best things you can do is offer practical help when the funeral is over such as going and having a coffee with his wife and listening to her. She is going to feel so lonely at home with a new baby and dealing with her loss - giving her a little of your time is the best thing you could do.

[bloaterbum]

Yes ,Iam not a stranger to bereavement and Ithink the best thing you can do is be there for a person .It is worth a thousand cards and not very forthcoming on many occasions.Just listen and that will be the best anyone can do

[Le Chat]

Thank you so much for all your comments and advice. I needed to get the cards sent, so read the last few answers after I had written them.
I eventually put something a little different in each card. I did not ever meet his wife, so I wrote a small story about her husband, which fitted his personality perfectly ... I thought this may make her smile through her tears. Ray - your words were lovely and to the others, I will offer my support after the funeral. Thank you for that.