Relationship Dilema

[Doolallygirl]

HELP! I've got a boyfriend of 6 months and I went on holiday in July/August and met a bloke there who I clicked with straight away. I didn't cheat on my fella but he gets really jealous when I text this bloke from holiday and we row about it because this bloke is just a mate. In November there is a holiday reunion and my fella is coming with me. The bloke will be there and I'm really worried that things are going to blow up in my face, with my fella starting a row with the bloke or me. Anyone got any solutions? I can't get a refund on the tickets for the reunion because I have already paid for them and now I'm getting texts from this holiday bloke saying he really fancies me and stuff. HELP!! I need a solution quickly!

[Donkey]

Doolallygirl if you had missed the last two lines out of your post. I would have still been able to tell you this bloke really fancies you, as he keeps texting you and you only met him on holiday. I would get really jealous if my girlfriend told me the same thing.. Anyway as you said you did nothing with him , so you have done nothing wrong. just text the bloke and say im coming out there with my boyfriend and you are just a mate..

[Doolallygirl]

I have but it's so hard because I don't want to hurt either of them. It's driving me crackers. Nothing could ever happen with this holiday bloke anyway because he lives in Birmingham and I'm in Kent! I think that in another situation they would have got on really well but because he has been texting me so much when I've been with my boyfriend it's driven him crackers and now my boyfriend is really looking forward to meeting him just so he can have a "quiet word" as he puts it. I don't want the boyfriend telling holiday bloke not to text me anymore because to me that's like saying I can't have male friends.

[becks]

Donkey's right, tell him you're coming to the reunion with your boyfriend and you only see him as a mte, if you're that worried - don't go! it won't be the end of the world!

[Donkey]

what do you mean you dont want to hurt any off them.. You have been with your boyfriend 6 months and you met this other bloke for however long a couple weeks on holiday.. You are going to have to hurt one of them as this other bloke fancies you and so does your boyfriend.. You say nothing can happen with this other bloke because he lives in Birmingham and you in kent ( good choice by the way ).. This should not be the reason nothing can happen it should be because your happy with your boyfriend.. Are you saying if the other bloke lived in kent then something might happen.. This other bloke wants something different than you want so i cant see how you can stay friends with him...

[Doolallygirl]

Donkey I never thought of it like that. I suppose if this other bloke lived in Kent nothing would have happened still because we were just mates and if he then started with these texts I would tell him where to go straight away, but I don't seem to be able to do that with this bloke. I don't THINK anything would happen anyway... Maybe that is the solution, tell him to stop texting me? But that would make it really awkward at the reunion because we are all sharing a room! Should I wait until the end of the reunion before telling him?

[Donkey]

If you are all sharing a room I think the other bloke will get the picture when you are laying there sharing a bed with your boyfriend. You dont need to be cruel to this other bloke, Just text him and say im sorry im not interested I have a boyfriend and im happy and when I come to the reunion i will be with him.

[secretspirit]

Sorry doolallygirl but if it was me I'd lose the money and not go. One way or another if there's alcohol involved either you might start flirting with the bloke, or your boyfriend might decide to have that quiet word, or the other bloke might come onto you and I can just see it being a really awkward situation. If you're there for a week or 2 weeks all in a room together it's a ticking timebomb.

[el duerino]

I have been in a similar situation - this guy clearly fancies you and not just as a friend. I hate to say it but when will females realise that 99% of people they meet 'out' will want more than friendship? Unfortunately there is no compromise, and I as a boyfriend would be very unhappy if my gf chose to keep seeing a friend who she knoew fancied the pants off her. It's not fair, but if the situations were reversed would you be happy? relationships are about give and take as well as trust.

[Doolallygirl]

I told my boyfriend last night that I was thinking about not going now because I don't want it to split us up, it's not worth it but he just said don't be silly, I want you to go with me and have a good time. Sticky situation. I could tell him this holiday bloke is gay/bisexual and therefore isn't interested in me in that way? Even the holiday bloke suggested that. The worry is obviously getting to me though because I had a nightmare about it last night. My boyfriend came with me to the reunion and we met up with another bloke that I'd met on holiday and I ran up to him and he gave me a full blown snog while my boyfriend was standing behind me and my boyfriend just went ape shyte and kicked the living pooh out of him!

[alawibaz]

doolallygirl do what u think is right if u love ur bloke trust urself this holiday guy should be told that ur not single and available for him and if he is as nice as u make out and if he did click straight away with u he should understand and move away. if ur bloke says its ok that u guys should go on holiday then it shows that ur bloke definatly trust u so do what u think is right and ur gonna hurt someone whether u like it or not but make sure u dont hurt the right person for u

[Yinzer]

Definitely don't lie to your boyfriend over something so small. Yes, this is a big deal but the bloke's importance in your life is small. I'd say go and have fun, but let him know that there's no chance and give signs, like not spending much time without your boyfriend, talk a lot about your boyfriend, and don't give a bunch of flirty smiles or wear sexy clothes aruond him alone. Guys are like Pavlov's dogs. Always the same response to such stimulus. I do think it's the womans responsibility to not turn a guy on. Don't mean to offend anyone, I'm just being pragmatic. How would you feel if your boyfriend just met some chick who he says is cool, but really fancies him, and even knowing how much she fancies him he still calls her and sends her texts?

[Linzi84]

You are not being truthful to yourself, you have a crush on the holiday bloke!! If you didn't then there would be no problem at all. I feel sorry for your boyfriend, it must be hard for him to constantly see you recieve texts from a guy you've known for only a couple of weeks don't you think? Put yourself in his shoes, how would you feel if it was your fella getting constant texts off a girl he met on hoiday? You need to sort out your feelings and go from there. As it is clear to me you like the holiday fella MORE than just a friend.

[binbomashady]

don not go. if u love ya man.