am i wrong in doing this?

[kristaljade]

i am wanting to send a letter to my husbands floozy as was, telling her that we are now very happy with a little boy etc. i dont know her new address so will send it to her parents address. i really want them to know what she has done in the past as they think she is an angel, wonderful daughter. if i write urgent on the letter and leave it unsealed im hoping they get to read it. its been hard to move on, my inlaws think my husband is wonderful too, maybe they should find something lying around too when they come and visit us. so basically without defaming the character of his floozy, can his floozy take the letter to the police. i know you will probably say it is wrong what i am doing but i have so much pent up anger in me and i want her parents to know.

[boxtops]

It seems to me that you are set on destroying what you say is a happy relationship with your husband and son, just for the sake of getting some unnecessary get-back at this woman. She won't care. If you are going to leave, just do it, don't make her the reason for it.

[Purple_Popple]

At the end of the day Kristal, YOU have your husband, he chose YOU - not her...YOU WON....not her....you have to get over this for your sanity's sake, it wont do any good - I know you must be very very hurt...its not fair...its not your fault...please talk it through with your husband you have to bat this out with him...its the best way, you have to let him know what you have told us here, let him know how you are hurting..

[sara3]

she'll think you're unstable and a fruitcake.. and she's probably right.

[cazzz1975]

your husband has the facility to say no, its unfair to solely blame this woman on your husband cheating, he is an adult and most people who are in committed relationships would have told her to bog off

[bednobs]

i nam going to have to come to the conclusion you are mentally ill

[kristaljade]

maybe it has made me nuts, i dont expect agreement here about what i should do. i did something similar ages ago and i felt so much better, wont go into details.i was questioning the police issue more if you read back. she can laugh her head off but i know deep down she hurt so badly to do what she did when it ended. Hell hath no fury as a woman scorned, isnt that touche, purple?

[bednobs]

plus, what a catch you are making your husband sound like :)

[sara3]

well all the grown ups think you're pathetic.

go and ask some Jeremy Kyle guests if you want someone to back you up.

[bednobs]

ps there is no "maybe" about it!

[fliptheswitch]

As sherrard just said, she will read this letter and, basically, come to the conclusion that she has won... which she clearly has!
You say you are happy, but you can't be. I understand you are angry, but you need to deal with this in some other way. Her poor parents have done nothing to you, and they do not deserve this. Why would you even involve them?!

Honestly, like pretty much everyone else has said, leave it be. Get on with your life with your family and stop living in the past.
No good will come of this and, as Joko has mentioned, this really could open up a can of worms.
Do you really think she will let you get away with involving her parents in all this? No chance!

[Bambiagain]

You are obviously dead set on doing this, no matter what harm it will do to your current, supposedly happy situation. Everybody who has replied is in agreement that it would be the wrong thing to do and you are still determined. So, ask yourself some questions:

Are you really as happy as you say you are? If you were, would there be any point in digging up the past?
Do you want your marriage to survive? If so, do you really think it will if/when your husband finds out?
And, most important of all - what is this going to do to your child if it causes your marriage either to break up or to go through more problems, causing more unhappiness for all? Isn't your child more important than revenge?

[joko]

it just sounds like you want to rub her nose in the fact that you 'won' (yeah great prize...)

sounds to me like actually she is the one that won...she moved on and was free of your husband the loser and free to find someone better and have a new happy life ...if you really think that it will have her crying into her pillow at what could have been you are addled...

oh and drop the pretence that this is all because 'you feel her parents should know the truth' ...we all know thats just a cover for you to get in touch with her and sneer at her

if you think you have won anything here you are sadly misaken im afraid...

i understand your desire to hurt her.... thats only natural, but believe me and believe everyone else, this is not the way to do it...it will not have the effect you are imagining....be clever

[kristaljade]

so have i won or has she won, your opinions differ. you say that i should show i have won by getting on with it and being happy but then say she has 'clearly' won, so wonder i want to send this letter!

[boxtops]

You've got the bloke and the baby - you've got what you wanted - crowing about it to the ex is going to do no good at all.
I'm not going to reply any more after this. It takes a lot of make me rattled, but you're clearly not going to listen to the sound advice of the people you've asked - some of whom may know the sort of situation you are talking about. Just do what you want to do, you will anyway, I don't know why you bothered asking us - just don't come back to us if it all goes t1ts up. We have done our best to make you see sense. Do what you like.

[jackthehat]

What boxtops^ said!!

[ladybirder]

Hallelujah!