am i having a baby to soon?

[malloryfx]

After swearing that only one baby, I am having another. Me and my husband both werent all too happy about it at first, but now we are excited. However I am just worried about the emotional toll it will take on my then 16 month old baby. Does anyone know about her possible behavior changes and how I can help her through this?

[andy-hughes]

Having two babies close together is hard at first, but much better when they grow, because they have each other for company.

Your sixteen-month-old will be young enough to assimilate the new arrival without too much trouble. Babies at that age have not yet developed a strong sense of 'self' and adapt quite easily to new saituations.

You will of course make sure they have equal attention and love, and you should have no problems in that area.

Congratulations, and best wishes for your extended family!

[bigpinkcat]

i'm in the exact same situation. After an awful pregnancy and birth, my partner and i swore never again. And just when things are settled and sterilising, mixing formula and all the repetative neccesities that go with having a baby are drawing to a close (my son is 8 months old) we find much to our dismay (precautions were took) that we are pregnant. We were totally freaked at first- and i am still quite petrified, but a baby is a wonderful gift (and touch wood) everything should be ok.

I too am worried about the affect it will have on my son also on us as a family unit. Will i still be able to give as much love and attention as i do now to my son? How will he and I cope when a new born baby will have to be the focus of my attention? Question after question arise in my head, probably for you too, but all one can do is deal with it as it comes i guess.

Good luck with the pregnancy and birth x

[noxlumos]

I think you'll be just fine, the thought of it to you is going to be much harder than the reality. I have eight children altogether from 2 marriages all of whom have lived with myself and my second wife who is pregnant again and due in March.We're finacially comfortable which is the main thing as the kids will be just fine with a new baby if they are included in the idea right from pregnancy forward.We always said when talking to people about it in front of the little ones that it was their brother or sister rather than "the baby".The smallest child will smother a new baby with love and there is really no need for your focus to shift from one child to another, your focus just neds to be widened and altered a little.Simple things like making feeding time for the new baby a time when you also tell your older toddler a story, or as they approach 3 get them to tell the baby their favourite story.If you just include the child in as much to do with the new baby as possible there will be no negative behaviour changes at all, certainly ours have all been very positive about it over the years, we never had any massive screaming fits, jealousies or tantrums over it anyway. Enjoy your new baby!

[kick3m0n]

my wee brother and I were only 17months apart adn my mum says that although it was very tiring adn difficult at times, with lots of help from her mum and dad and our Dad (who worked shifts as a fireman) they managed. She now says she's glad she did it that way, as it meant that my brother and I grew up close and have remained so. She also said it meant all the sleepless nights were gone after only 3 short years (LOL) and that many of my things were easy to hand down to my brother (pink clothes etc weren't so common then, most babies just wore white). Mum says I had no bad reaction whatsoever to my little brothers arrival, tho that was helped with special days out with gran and grandpa or mum and dad, when the set I wasn't with had my brother. Don't expect any great drama, as it may simply not happen. Your wee girl's too wee to understand alot of what having a new baby around means, but get her involved as much as possible at every step, if she's interested. My friend has just had a new baby and her 19month old is really not too interested at all. There's no ill feeling or jealousy, she just doesnt' really get what all the fuss is about, and is quite satisfied that she is obviously the most imprtant child in the family, as new baby can't do much of anything!!! Once Jnr does arrive, ensure that all guests greet your oldest child first, and make a fuss of her, rather than rush straight over to newbie. newbie will not know any different, but a 16months old definitely will. Good luck.

[rampart]

My children are 16 months apart - a boy and a girl. My son (the older) did not care one bit about the addition to the family when she came home. He never paid her any attention until she started to crawl and grab his toys. He was none too happy about the addition to the family then, but she'd been around for months by then!

It will work out just fine for you.

There are good and bad things about children that close in age. My son is four now and daughter will be three in a couple of months. Looking back, I would say that we really did not suffer too much. At the very beginning, it was tough, but it was easier each month.

They get along just fine, share toys fairly well, and are good playmates.

I think you'll be just fine.

An advantage is that you get out of nasty nappies very quickly!

Good luck.

[curiosity]

It happened to me and it's a bit of a shock to start with (I think we imagine the physical exhaustion) but actually looking after 2 kids isn't twice the work, it's just a bit more. My kids are 15 months apart, now 14 & 13 yearold I had a much easier time than my friends with 1 child, as they played together rather than constantly want me as a play companion (as our 5 year old does) Yes, no doubt you'll get to a point when your two get older, and you think shall we or shan't we? we did, she's great, and the baby thing was lovely, now she's older and the other 2 have lots to do. I find it definately harder entertaining 1 than I did the 2 together. You'll love it. Good luck