Dementia.........?

[jackthehat]

Scenario ;
Elderly couple, she 76, he 80, live far-removed from their children; 2 daughters.
He now seems to be exhibiting the signs of some sort of 'Dementia'.
She seems to be in denial about this.

When in the confines of his own home he seems happy enough, if quiet.
Away from his familiar surroundings he has no idea of where he is, or who people are. He cannot hold a conversation as he loses words and cannot hold onto the thread of what is being said.
He gets lost inside unfamiliar houses and follows his wife around from room to room, even the WC.
He is talking about his young adulthood, youth and childhood but seems to have no real grasp on 'now'.

Their younger daughter has suspected that he has been 'ailing' for a couple of years, but it wasn't until her parents went to her house, for an extended visit, that she realised just how bad the situation really is.

A similar visit has just been undertaken at the older daughter's; and now she too, is greatly concerned.

Despite the wise advice from both daughters, the Mum is failing to gain any medical diagnosis. She did make an appointment with the GP, but made the mistake of telling him what it was about. He stuck his heels in, refused to attend on the grounds that "there is nothing wrong with me"......and that appears to be that.

What can the daughters do? They are both in full-time employment and live too far away just to turn up and 'get something done'.

How can they get the ball rolling (from distance) so that their time and energies are best used?

[1ndex]

Are there free NHS care homes for all D patients?

[anneasquith]

could '' the daughters'' arrange to take holidays or unpaid leave at the same time and stay with the parents and contact available agencies for diagnosis/assistance for the parent before there is an incident ?

[pixie373]

If the wife can get a urine sample to GP, because they will always rule out a urine infection first as a cause of aggression or confusion. While she is there she could speak to the receptionist and explain the situation and that her husband won't come in. They may agree to a house visit. The sooner the better, for treatment.

[jackthehat]

The daughters would prefer to be able to arrange everything *before* they journey down rather than arrive, set to and find that no professionals will be available until 'next week', etc.

He has been going downhill for at least 18 months.....it only became completely apparent when he was taken out of his familiar surroundings and routine.

Thanks to all for your suggestions and advice. xx

[anneasquith]

contact social services for their area, talk to the duty officer who will refer the daughters to a member of the '' elderly care team''

[Canary42]

The NHS no longer cares for anybody of such exalted age.

My 98 year old Mum has just died because they weren't interested in curing her after a stroke, they just wanted the bed released. She wasn't as bad as Andrew Marr but they got him back again, but of course that's good publicity.

[boxtops]

Dementia care is high on the agenda in general practice at the moment, but not every GP is expert in it (not every GP is expert in lots of things, as they often tend to specialise). Ring the surgery and ask which GP leads on it (when you can find out which surgery it is). Are they on any medication? - the prescribing details should be on the packet, or there might be repeat prescription forms in the house which will show the surgery details.