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Apologies in advance

Two hydrogen atoms having a conversation. One says, "I have lost all my electrons" Other says "are you sure?" "I'm positive"

ethanryan

african grey parrot

we have a african grey parrot who is about 10 years old, we would like to have him out of the cage without him flying around like mad. we havnt been able to before now cause of other pets we had ....

koala610

Where did the concept of Easter Bunny and Chocolate Easter eggs come from?

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Latest Dumb AB Poll

Is the poll about organ transplants really a stealth way of finding out how many idiots are on the site? Because obviously the % that select 'No people should have the right to decide' don't...

Loosehead

Energy saving in the news again...

Ok light bulbs are in the news, lets save energy, bl00dy brilliant, I whole heatedly agree we should save energy. So why is it that everyhwhere I go there are lights on all day. . My local supermarket...

claymore

great inventions

If you had to nominate mankind`s five greatest inventions what would you choose?

tambotombo

Whats his name?

Who lies dead and broken at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with a dead donkey at his side? . . . . .Paddy Kneivel!

EDDIE51

Your Sheepdog's Dead !

A farmer returns from holiday, At the airport his mate ,who has looked after the farm for him, picks him up. On the way home he asks 'Is there any news while I was away?' There is good news and bad...

gravitate

dog dyslexia

how can you tell if a dog is dyslexic? If it is what do you have to do for her?

filthiestfis

cross dressing advice

Can a donkey have sex with a giraffe on its hind legs?

jimmysipples

i've got another for you's

Dear God, I am an 93 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had ?100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is...

bodylice

Mrs Darwen is said to be ' tearful '

Oh bless !!! What a shame. She has conned society out of ?160,000 minimum by LYING and DECEIVING society. She has apparently cooperated fully with the police, oh more bless. She is hopefully going...

can'tdo

DT GK 8th December

23 across - Japanese cooking technique - 8 ~E~I~A~~ 27 across - Man made material that is used more than any other - 8 ~O~C~~~E 4 down - Herbaceous perennial with culinery, medicinal uses and in the...

Boasting Bob

I have had enough of topogigo - see below

Topogigo junior went to his mum one day, and asked "is it bad to have a penis?". His mum, taken aback said "Certainly not, why on earth do you think that?" To which he replied "Well, dad`s upstairs,...

topogigo

I have had enough!

In the name of god will you dreadful people pull yourselves together and stop posting these hopeless and frankly embarrassing jokes. It is so disappointing to look through the posts and find all these...

Zen

New England manager

Apparently the FA have approached Kate McCann to be the next England manager. Her record of only having lost one in Europe has impreseed them.

bimbim

I attended a party this past weekend.

After checking out all the well-dressed guests at the party, I spotted an attractive woman (standing alone) across the room. When I approached and asked her name, She coyly replied... "Carmen."...

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Sat Tel Cryptic

One left to do, again from memory: Berate Romeo Influential speaker. 7 or 8 letters ending in T-R-R Cheers

Sweep2k

Our survey says....

A "torrent" of negative stories has been revealed by a study of the portrayal of Muslims and Islam in the media, according to a report published yesterday. Research into one week's news coverage...

lankeela

Two nuns in the bath

One says "where's the soap" The other replies "Yes it does doesn't it"

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