I was looking for a good loo cleaner, so I asked a lady at the supermarket, "which is the best stuff for cleaning the loo" she said "ammonia cleaner" I said "sorry I thought you worked... ...
I saw a vacancy was on offer at a local sandwich makers, so I gave them a call to inquire about the position. They got back to and said "sorry the role has been filled"
I went to the library in search of book about Native American tribes, so I asked the Liberian if she could help me find it, and she said "do you have the authors name ?" I said I think it was... ...
Portly pensioner Pete was shocked when he saw the state of his latest bank balance, and demanded to his long-suffering wife. "What the heck have you been doing with all that grocery money I gave... ...
And He told me he has a job working volunteer in the local park clearing rubbish. The boss handed him a litter stick and a bag and said "no experience needed, just pick it up as you go... ...
The perils of buying goods online. I bought a patio/bistro set, and was not told in which country it was made, or that it would arrive it a flat pack. Also, it was impossible to assemble due to... ...
When the missus saw me getting my golfing gear ready, she said, "Not golf again? You played all day yesterday" I said yeah, but we are doing the second hole today!
I just took a peek out of the kitchen window, and I saw a magpie prancing around on the lawn with a large chip, lengthways in it beak. I thought to myself, toucan play at this game!
Hope the sun shines for you today. Isn't it ironic ?, I bought a strong pair of snips, to open some tough plastic packaging, and spent the next half hour trying to cut through the sealed plastic... ...
A man made an appointment with his doctor after he kept seeing cream cakes floating about in the corners of his eyes. Dr said not to worry its just your profiterole vision.