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craft1948

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craft1948
I phoned the police the other day, the operator said "What's the emergency?" I said "There's two girls fighting over me" "Okay" she said "Well what's the...
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craft1948
The wife asked me what I was doing on the computer last night, and I told her I was looking for cheap flights. "I love you" she said, then she got all excited, unzipped my trousers, and gave...
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craft1948
..so as to speak. No help on the underwear front either.................
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craft1948
..............but only you know this. There's nothing you can do to change this fact so what would you do? a) Tell everybody b) Max out your credit card c) Shoot next door's cat d) Make sure your...
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craft1948
This is the house I intend to buy when I win the lottery this weekend............what would your dream house be like? http://www.rightmove....roperty-31554376.html...
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craft1948
Urgent message to all ginger ladies. Don't have a brazilian.................... it looks like a fish finger....
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craft1948
I have a problem with my all-in-one PC and rang the Samsung support team. They took the details, asked me to email proof of purchase to them, and then ring back in 3 hours and they will make...
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craft1948
I've tried this and it's very interesting. You have to register and it does take a bit of time....... https://www.bbc.co.uk...experiments/morality/ This was part of my result... "Your high sense...
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craft1948
I keep getting thin bands of lines, usually blue, going across my screen.......any ideas?
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craft1948
New neighbour moved in last week (renting the bungalow next door) and we haven't spoken as yet. Got up this morning to find someone had put a bag full of rubbish in my bin which was out for...
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craft1948
Today for some reason a login box for my email (Outlook) keeps appearing asking me to login. I never log out and this has never happened before, I just keep closing the request box and it disappears....
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craft1948
Has anyone else noticed that on the 1911 census the last column on the original sheets has been blanked out. As this was where you entered details of " Deformities, Blindness, Lunacy" etc...
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craft1948
Who else thinks Space Cadet looks like Rose West?
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craft1948
Just been stopped in the street by a lady conducting a survey. She asked me what I knew about dwarves. I said......................................... ..... very little....
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craft1948
Good thing or bad?
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craft1948
Jeremy Sheffield is joining the street as the new love interest of Becky..........thank you God.
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craft1948
The dog has just come in run round the room and the kitchen and run out again...................spraying dog poo as he ran.
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craft1948
...............so what do you think to Lourdes Gerrard? Is it because Liverpool need a miracle?...
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craft1948
When the missus left I was a bit down and lonely...............but I pulled myself together and since then I've got a dog, bought a new bike, shagged two women, and blown a grand on drink and...
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craft1948
1. Last Friday night the central heating pump packed up........£35 to fix it. 2. Last night I put my back out....I'm now wearing a rather attractive heat pad. 3. This morning I noticed the glass...

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