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Hopkirk

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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

At my job interview they wanted to know if I perform under pressure. I said no but I do a pretty good bohemian rhapsody....
08:18 Sun 02nd Apr 20237 answers, last by mallyh 10:58 Mon 03rd Apr 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I once ran a marathon in Sweden. I knew I was lost when I crossed the Finnish line....
08:53 Sat 01st Apr 202311 answers, last by dustypuss 10:50 Sun 02nd Apr 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Yesterday a girl told me I had a face like the back of a boat. I didn't reply, but I gave her a stern look....
05:39 Fri 31st Mar 202316 answers, last by Patsy33 09:35 Fri 31st Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

The mother in law came round for dinner and asked why the dog was staring at her. I told her it was because she was using his plate....
06:13 Thu 30th Mar 20236 answers, last by Ken4155 11:55 Thu 30th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I farted in the Apple store and the assistant went crazy. I said it's not my fault you don't have windows....
05:50 Wed 29th Mar 20232 answers, last by Patsy33 11:51 Wed 29th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Man: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet Man: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush...
05:50 Tue 28th Mar 20237 answers, last by Patsy33 13:21 Tue 28th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

How do birds know that scarecrows aren't human? Because they are not staring at phones....
05:48 Mon 27th Mar 20231 answer, last by DTCwordfan 06:37 Mon 27th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

1. Going to bed early 2. Not leaving my house 3. Not going to a party My childhood punishments have become my adult goals....
07:59 Sun 26th Mar 20235 answers, last by Ken4155 15:25 Sun 26th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I was reading a book about fish. I only put it down for a minute. Now I can't find my plaice (Credit to fellow ABer Dustypuss)...
10:17 Sat 25th Mar 20237 answers, last by Patsy33 13:11 Sat 25th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat? It's because if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat....
09:37 Fri 24th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call birds that stick together? Velcrows....
07:02 Thu 23rd Mar 20238 answers, last by mallyh 13:04 Thu 23rd Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I shouldn't brag, but I made six figures last month. I do love my Lego....
07:15 Wed 22nd Mar 20231 answer, last by Patsy33 13:08 Wed 22nd Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I turned down the caretaker who wanted to smoke weed with me. I can't deal with high maintenance people....
06:51 Tue 21st Mar 20234 answers, last by mallyh 11:57 Tue 21st Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Why should you never mess with an Italian pastry chef? Because he'll beat the foccacia....
06:43 Mon 20th Mar 20235 answers, last by Ken4155 10:24 Mon 20th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

Did you hear about the guy who took a second job as a pizza chef? He kneaded the dough...
09:02 Sun 19th Mar 20232 answers, last by Patsy33 10:59 Sun 19th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I got a job at a helium balloon factory. Lasted two hours. No one's talking to me like that....
08:00 Sat 18th Mar 20236 answers, last by Patsy33 11:23 Sat 18th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Next Palace Manager?

I've seen a suggestion it will be Roy Hodgson.
20:21 Fri 17th Mar 20236 answers, last by piggynose 11:13 Sat 18th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

I got a job at a chess piece factory. I was really happy there until they put me on knights....
07:16 Fri 17th Mar 20237 answers, last by brian j john 11:59 Fri 17th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi.
07:12 Thu 16th Mar 20236 answers, last by Patsy33 14:24 Thu 16th Mar 2023
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Hopkirk

Dad Joke Of The Day

My son has started an apprenticeship chef role at a Michelin starred Indian restaurant in London. On his first day they showed him how to make the perfect Indian flat bread. He said he can't tell me...
06:54 Wed 15th Mar 20236 answers, last by Chipchopper 07:44 Wed 15th Mar 2023

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