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Hymie

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Hymie

Feeling Unwell

I went to see my doctor today and he said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well!’...
21:14 Mon 28th Oct 2013
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Hymie

Foreskin

The useless piece of flesh at the end of a penis is called a man. (Jo Brand)...
23:05 Sun 27th Oct 2013
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Hymie

Home Insurance

I bitched about this last year – but no harm repeating myself; if reading this could save you £30+ Received my house insurance (buildings & contents) renewal notification at approx £110. Just...
22:09 Sat 24th Aug 201311 answers, last by fourteen85 07:59 Mon 16th Sep 2013
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Hymie

New Bathroom/kitchen

Mrs Hymie would like a new bathroom & kitchen. I have obtained a number of quotes – the price for a bathroom suite and required kitchen units etc seem very reasonable (we plan to keep the current...
16:54 Sun 19th May 20137 answers, last by Hymie 19:58 Mon 20th May 2013
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Hymie

The world is ending on 21 December 2012

Many believe that the world will end on the above date, because the ancient Mayan calendar runs out on this date. Surely it is going to end on the 31 December 2012, because my £ shop calendar...
23:27 Sat 17th Nov 201256 answers, last by birdie1971 01:32 Thu 22nd Nov 2012
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Hymie

Gary Glitter Arrest

I know that there are already a couple of posts on this topic – but what I want to know is how come camera crews from a number of media organisations were outside his Chelsea address to record...
22:47 Sun 28th Oct 201225 answers, last by Duncer 23:31 Sun 28th Oct 2012
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Hymie

One for the kids returning to school

Q: What is green and smells like yellow paint? A: Green paint....
10:50 Sun 02nd Sep 20121 answer, last by piggynose 11:12 Sun 02nd Sep 2012
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Hymie

Champion

Q: What do Arsenal and a three-pin plug have in common? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A: They are both useless in Europe....
21:32 Tue 03rd Jul 201212 answers, last by Grandma_Yiddo 21:23 Wed 04th Jul 2012
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Hymie

Suicide

A blonde woman decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the local park. A few days later, a man walking his dog spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks her what she is doing and...
18:31 Fri 29th Jun 20124 answers, last by Starbuckone 19:42 Fri 29th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Red V5

More than 2 years since I posted this:- http://www.theanswerb...g/Question857540.html DVLA seem to be taking some action – today I received a Red V5 document for my vehicle (with instructions to...
17:59 Fri 29th Jun 20121 answer, last by Nibble 13:50 Sat 30th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Mans' best friend

I spilt spot remover on my dog…….....now he’s gone.
22:20 Thu 28th Jun 20125 answers, last by marval 23:31 Thu 28th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Bestiality

A man walks into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm - his wife is lying in bed reading a book. The man says "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." His wife looks...
21:11 Tue 26th Jun 20122 answers, last by tenrec 17:08 Wed 27th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Lord of the flies

A woman walks into the living room where her husband is busy killing flies with a swatter, "any luck?" she asks. "A bit" he replies, "I've killed three males and two...
17:52 Mon 25th Jun 20124 answers, last by tenrec 18:48 Mon 25th Jun 2012
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Hymie

The Guinness Book of Records

Sleeping beauty, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were all talking one day. Sleeping Beauty said "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world" Tom Thumb said "I must be the...
22:42 Sun 24th Jun 20122 answers, last by marval 23:21 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Connection

Q: What do Kermit the frog, Rupert Bear and Henry VIII have in common? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > A: They all share the same middle name....
16:43 Sun 24th Jun 20122 answers, last by tenrec 16:45 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Flying with BA

My last holiday was terrible, I flew with BA. He just kept shouting "You crazy Fool, I aint getting on no plane!"...
10:49 Sun 24th Jun 201210 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 18:54 Mon 30th Jul 2012
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Hymie

Chinese Cuisine

Q: What do you call a Chinese girl with a food mixer on her head? A: Blenda....
19:38 Sat 23rd Jun 20126 answers, last by weecalf 08:50 Sun 24th Jun 2012
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Hymie

Drinking Yoghurt

I went out last night and drank eleven pints of yoghurt, when I woke up this morning I was mullered.
15:07 Sat 23rd Jun 20125 answers, last by chaptazbru 17:33 Sat 23rd Jun 2012
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Hymie

Recommend a film

Not being a cinema goer or much of a TV watcher – I have taken to watching DVD films purchased from my local trade in store. I would estimate that they have on display around 5,000 titles...
21:57 Sat 16th Jun 201232 answers, last by em10 17:43 Sat 23rd Jun 2012
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Hymie

Chris Hulne – ‘Perverting the course of justice’

I see that his former wife is to use the defence of ‘marital coercion’ as her defence in this case. Basically claiming that she did indeed pervert the course of justice (by taking her then...
09:55 Mon 04th Jun 20128 answers, last by HowardKennitby 23:27 Mon 04th Jun 2012

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