A woman walked into a very busy butcher's shop. Looking at meats and poultry on display, she suddenly grabbed hold of a prepared chicken, she picked up one wing, sniffed it, picked up the other wing...
A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting...
NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard...
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE ============================================== For those of you old enough to remember Red Skelton, I think you will enjoy this. For those of you not old...
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last month, and I wanted to talk with you about him before...
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.. We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier...
A Dietitian was addressing a large audience in London: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your...
A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared...
A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother gets up and says to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she...
A couple are out driving when they are stopped: Copper: Sir, you realise that you were speeding. Husband: Im sorry officer, I didnt know. Wife: What the hell, thats a lie Ive been telling him for...
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road & a copper see's him & pulls him over, “Step out of the car please sir ” says the copper, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I...
In the light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for...
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and jewrllery. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and...
Neil Armstrong lands on the Moon and says the words: "Over to you, Gretsky." Everyone's confused and asks him what does he mean but he refuses to reveal it. However, he's at a 20-year reunion for the...
There's a little boy who loves tractors. On his 17th birthday, his mother gives him a trip to a tractor fair, but he gets badly injured, leading to a lengthy stay in hospital. He says he's never going...
A doctor, a civil engineer and a programmer are discussing whose profession is the oldest. “Surely medicine is the oldest profession,” says the doctor. “God took a rib from Adam and created Eve...
S Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting...
A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on...