JonnyBoy12 Member Profile in The AnswerBank

I hope you will all "bear" with me for posting this joke

I bear walks into a hairdresser's salon but there are more than half a dozen people in there ahead of him. The owner of the salon says very apologetically "I am really sorry, sir, but there is...

marval

Music anyone?

What do you call a short drummer with good rhythm? A metro gnome. Why did JSBach have so many children? Because there were no stops on his organ. A local church built a new sanctuary. They moved their...

Matheous-2

Diamond

Anyone aware of any scientific estimate as to the lifespan of diamond. What was it?

TWR

Have you had?

A good interesting day?

mrs_overall

Just for a bit of fun

Can you think of a spoof event for the Olympics?

gness

I`m going for a while

My beautiful son-in law has just died. Back when I............x

starone

Ants

My garden is being taken over by ants. I have tried boiling water and ant spray killer and stamping on them and screaming go away, but to no avail. As fast as I kill one lot another lot takes their...

ll_billym

It's a bad one...

Armed police will be in duty during the Olympics. Unarmed police will be on duty during the Paralympics.

pastafreak

Could You Eat This??

The 9.5lb kids breakfast.....it could feed a load of hungry teenage boys. ;-0 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18490459...

marval

Do you speak Italian?

There was an old Italian man who had moved to the US in his youth. He worked hard his whole life at a fruit stand, frugally saving every penny he could, investing money in stocks. When the time came...

TWR

Are you sentimental?

What makes you shed a tear? Men / Women? Men! It takes a man to admit it. Women! Circumstances.

joggerjayne

favourite Olympian - Victoria Pendleton

Come on, men on here ... fess up ! Your favourite Gold medalist from Beijing, is ... Chris Hoy? Rebecca Adlington? Or ... Victoria Pendleton !!! ??? !!! ???...

erin-x

Onion with two cores....

I chopped an onion with two cores earlier. I've never seen one like it, is it quite common?? Here's a picture :) http://i49.tinypic.com/2lx8jev.jpg...

themalster

Sitting in First Class fine

Hi guys, This morning I was late for the train and carrying a heavy bag and just got on the train. There was nowhere to sit apart from an empty First Class carriage so, stupidly, I sat in there. An...

slinky.kate

what are you doing tonight

i am going swimming,makes a change from sitting in all the time watching telly,i was swimming on tuesday as well and left my new bottle of shampoo and bodywash there,they will be well gone now,so i...

joggerjayne

Click

Friday night ... bit later than usual ... quick change and out ... IT'S FRIDAAAAAAAY NIIIIIIIGHT !! Okay guys ...I'm gonna click the happy switch for all of us ... Ready? Three ... Two ... One ......

Jemisa

Your first olympic joke...

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London. A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't got tickets . The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and...

maggiebee

Irish Mirror

After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin. In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen...

droopdrawers

Paying up front for your funeral

My Mother in Law died in the late 80's...funeral cost £470. Mother died 2007 cost £ 1996 Step Dad died 2009 cost £2019 Clearly costs are rising so fast it has to be sensible to make...