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marval

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marval

Where Is She?

While riding his Harley, a man swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging his head. Dazed and confused he crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road,...
20:49 Mon 05th Aug 20193 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:02 Mon 05th Aug 2019
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marval

I Fell

I went to the shop last Friday on my bicycle. I bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle...
15:34 Mon 05th Aug 20197 answers, last by Bazile 16:37 Tue 06th Aug 2019
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marval

Oops

An eight year-old girl went to the office with her father on 'Take your child to work Day'. As they walked around the office she started crying and getting upset. Her father asked her what was wrong....
22:19 Sat 03rd Aug 20194 answers, last by Chipchopper 08:23 Mon 05th Aug 2019
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marval

I Am Posting

I am posting this with a heavy heart. As much as I love playing and working on my music and various instruments it takes up way too much of my time and I am struggling to keep up with the everyday...
16:02 Fri 02nd Aug 201913 answers, last by Patsy33 20:54 Fri 02nd Aug 2019
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marval

Battle Of Britain Hero

Another Battle Of Britain hero has died. RIP Archie. https://news.sky.com/story/battle-of-britain-hero-archie-mcinnes-dies-hours-after-turning-100-11775740...
15:38 Fri 02nd Aug 20197 answers, last by tonyav 20:42 Fri 02nd Aug 2019
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marval

I Used To Be

A man met a beautiful lady one night, he took her back to his place and they went at it all night, all sorts of weird and wonderful positions. In the morning, she told him she had a confession. "That...
21:25 Wed 31st Jul 20198 answers, last by marval 22:28 Wed 31st Jul 2019
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marval

Recovered

The police have recovered a huge quantity of stolen DVDs, computers, radios, TVs and a whole host of other electronic gadgets. However, they say that at the moment they have not got any leads....
17:15 Tue 30th Jul 20195 answers, last by Togo 13:08 Thu 01st Aug 2019
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marval

Tattoo

I was thinking of having a Tattoo for my birthday. But I decided not to, as I have quite a small garden, and I am not really that fond of bagpipe music anyway....
21:09 Mon 29th Jul 20196 answers, last by Patsy33 14:00 Tue 30th Jul 2019
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marval

An Accident

I rang to report an accident at work that wasn't my fault. However, I have since had several boxes of shellfish delivered to my house. I must have called Clams Direct by mistake....
17:15 Mon 29th Jul 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 14:06 Tue 30th Jul 2019
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marval

Retiring

The local vicar was retiring, and at his leaving supper, people were paying tribute to him. During the event, a little old woman sidled up to him and said. "I am sorry to see you go. The next one...
16:07 Sun 28th Jul 20193 answers, last by Patsy33 14:09 Tue 30th Jul 2019
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marval

Fancy Dress

I got invited to a fancy dress party in Birmingham, and my friend said the theme was "spice". So I went dressed as a chilli pepper, but when I got there, everyone else was dressed as astronauts....
21:39 Sat 27th Jul 201913 answers, last by tonyav 20:34 Sun 28th Jul 2019
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marval

I Taught

I taught my Dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground. We went from Barking to Tooting in about an hour....
21:07 Sat 27th Jul 20192 answers, last by pjgriffo 20:10 Thu 29th Aug 2019
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marval

The Inventor

The inventor of Chinese whispers died today. Pass it on....
21:05 Fri 26th Jul 201911 answers, last by DTCwordfan 12:05 Sat 27th Jul 2019
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marval

A Warning

A pharmaceutical company has developed a new drug. When administered to women, it compels them to join a convent. They have issued a warning though that it can be habit forming....
18:05 Fri 26th Jul 20196 answers, last by marval 21:04 Fri 26th Jul 2019
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marval

Complaint

I recently made a complaint to the council. Because of my neighbours constant drilling. According to the letter I received. It is a standard procedure at the Army barracks....
17:31 Wed 24th Jul 20195 answers, last by Patsy33 19:39 Wed 24th Jul 2019
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marval

I Go Around

I go around handing out hot water bottles and blankets at comedy gigs. I am the warm up act. I am a very bad escape artist. I don’t get out much. I can’t seem to get on the Lilt website. It keeps...
21:35 Tue 23rd Jul 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 21:58 Tue 23rd Jul 2019
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Dog Trainers

I have just seen an advert for ‘Dog trainers’ in the paper. I can’t get mine to wear a collar, let alone sportswear. The girls in my local strip club are so good with computers they do lap top...
22:21 Mon 22nd Jul 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 23:01 Mon 22nd Jul 2019
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marval

Rock Bottom

I have hit rock bottom. All I do is sit in my room alone uploading depressing songs to my iPod. I never thought I could sync solo. Shakespeare hated hugging. He was a no holds bard. I ran into a few...
15:24 Sat 20th Jul 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 18:26 Sat 20th Jul 2019
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marval

Happy Birthday Webbo

Have just read it is Webbo's birthday. Happy birthday Webbo, hope it is a good one....
13:30 Sat 20th Jul 201917 answers, last by albaqwerty 21:20 Sat 20th Jul 2019
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marval

Terrorised

I used to get terrorised by a ghost every night. Until one day I came home from a waterfowl themed fancy dress party. Turns out he wouldn’t say boo to a goose....
17:16 Fri 19th Jul 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 13:03 Sat 20th Jul 2019

181 to 200 of 3998

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