Donate SIGN UP

marval

261 to 280 of 3998

First Previous 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

My Granddad

My Granddad used to tell me that there was a secret code that would make an egg open itself. He said, “All you have to do is crack it” Saw a sign saying “Free Range Eggs” earlier. Never heard...
16:41 Sun 28th Apr 20194 answers, last by Canary42 13:22 Mon 29th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Submitted

I have submitted a quote to completely refurbish Gracelands. I don’t know if I will win the contract but they did love me tender . I was just about to nail some shelves to the wall. Then I thought,...
18:02 Sat 27th Apr 20193 answers, last by zebo 13:57 Sun 28th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Guide Dog

This is a lovely story, proving that guide dogs are not just for humans. https://news.sky.com/story/blind-staffie-amos-has-own-guide-dog-who-never-leaves-his-side-11702946...
17:10 Fri 26th Apr 201914 answers, last by wolf63 03:40 Sat 27th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Driving To Work

I was driving to work today, and got stuck behind an old horsebox with a wonky wheel. I thought “That doesn’t look stable” A man goes into a library and asks, “Have you got The Grapes of...
21:06 Wed 24th Apr 20192 answers, last by tonyav 21:14 Wed 24th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

I Am

Jane began a job as an elementary school counsellor and she was eager to help. One day during a break she noticed a boy standing by himself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids...
17:31 Tue 23rd Apr 20197 answers, last by Patsy33 18:32 Wed 24th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Oops

A man limped into a hospital to have his foot X-rayed, and was asked to wait for the results. Some time later an orderly appeared and handed the man a large pill. Just then a mother with a small child...
19:04 Wed 17th Apr 20193 answers, last by Togo 19:31 Wed 17th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

My Old Teacher

My old teacher was incredible at history. He knew the date of every battle, the wife of every king, the winner of every war. Shame he taught Biology. A female police officer used a taser gun on me...
17:56 Sun 14th Apr 20193 answers, last by JimF 18:21 Sun 14th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Boxing Match

I have just had a boxing match with a Star Wars character. I won, Han’s down. I came up with a great letter-based joke. My mate reckons I should post it. I thought I had run out of kitchen towel...
17:59 Wed 10th Apr 20191 answer, last by Patsy33 20:49 Wed 10th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Topless

I went to a topless bar last night. It doesn’t make sense to me. There is nowhere to put your drink down....
17:07 Tue 09th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

At The Zoo

An animal at the zoo was given special recognition after it gave its own life to rescue a child from a fire. It was a hippoposthumous award. I am really not looking forward to having to tell my friend...
21:22 Sun 31st Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Well-Known

A well-known rodeo performer has died in hospital. His death is being blamed on the physiotherapy he was receiving. Fans have got together and released a tribute song "Physio killed the rodeo star."...
19:39 Sat 30th Mar 20192 answers, last by maggiebee 09:17 Fri 05th Apr 2019
Avatar Image
marval

I Have

I have become a millionaire from gardening, but I will never forget my roots I have been down on my luck recently and ended up living in the windmill at a crazy golf course. The owner keeps trying to...
18:46 Wed 27th Mar 20192 answers, last by tonyav 22:00 Wed 27th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Nail Biting

I have to stop biting my nails. I am running out of things to hang my pictures with. My partner brought home thirty knickerbocker glories. I will never eat those in a month of sundaes. I lost my...
16:46 Sun 24th Mar 20192 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:11 Mon 25th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

I Gave

I gave an ant a 7UP bottle lid to use as a boat to sail across a puddle. It’s Cap-sized. I have met this man, but he won’t get with me because of my obsession with Blondie. I’ll get him one way...
14:17 Fri 22nd Mar 20194 answers, last by Spicerack 12:00 Sat 23rd Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Holby

Don't forget Holby is on tonight as well. Just in case anyone wasn't sure.
18:26 Wed 20th Mar 20191 answer, last by gingejbee 19:42 Wed 20th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Who Has Been In My Shed?

I like this story, I wonder if they would come and tidy our garage up? https://news.sky.com/story/mouse-proud-rodent-seen-tidying-up-tools-in-garden-shed-in-south-gloucestershire-11670747...
15:54 Wed 20th Mar 201913 answers, last by horselady 17:02 Thu 21st Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

American British

What Americans call a zucchini the British call a courgette. Where Americans have jelly, Britain has jam. Where Britain has jelly, America has jell-O. But most interesting of all is that Americans...
23:19 Tue 19th Mar 20198 answers, last by Bazile 15:05 Wed 20th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

I Ordered

I ordered an eight inch Cheese and Tomato Pizza from Dominos. I was shocked when it arrived as it was delivered by two midget monks. I phoned Dominos up and said, “What are you doing, having my...
19:22 Sun 17th Mar 20193 answers, last by maggiebee 12:37 Mon 18th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Round The Bend

My partner is always driving me round the bend. One day he will learn how to use roundabouts properly. I just drank some wkd with ice in it. It was wicked. I’ve recently been buying loads of...
15:47 Sun 17th Mar 20193 answers, last by Patsy33 19:11 Sun 17th Mar 2019
Avatar Image
marval

Which One?

A milk jug says to a sugar bowl “Hey, shall we see which one of us can hold the most coffee?” The sugar bowl says “No way mate, that’s a mug’s game.”...
21:36 Sat 16th Mar 20192 answers, last by Patsy33 21:49 Sat 16th Mar 2019

261 to 280 of 3998

First Previous 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 Next Last