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missprim

1381 to 1400 of 1949

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marval

No first name

A lady manager of a big reputed office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into her office. “What is your name?" was the first thing she asked the new guy. "John," the...
17:27 Wed 07th Dec 20112 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:11 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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rowanwitch

some odds and ends

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex Bill woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realised he had made it home safely. One idiot says to second idiot "Christmas...
09:34 Wed 07th Dec 20114 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:09 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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McMouse

Wednesday Cheer

On a bitterly cold winters morning a husband and wife in Dublin were listening to the radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You...
09:57 Wed 07th Dec 20115 answers, last by Starbuckone 20:10 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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missprim

$20 a time

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state,her husband readily agreed. This scenario was...
23:31 Tue 06th Dec 20118 answers, last by Starbuckone 00:18 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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annadomino

Snack attack

You have a full larder, and fridge. You are home alone. No one is counting your calories, and they won't make you fatter. No one will judge , so what snack do you go for?...
23:26 Tue 06th Dec 201158 answers, last by mccfluff 11:03 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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starone

A good excuse.

I made myself a snowmanl As perfect as can be I thought I'd keep it as a pet And let it sleep with me. I made it some pyjamas And a pillow for it's head But then it went and ran away But first it wet...
23:06 Tue 06th Dec 20117 answers, last by MichaelZZ 07:45 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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naomi24

A Seasonal Tale

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, "Hi, my name is...
18:55 Tue 06th Dec 20113 answers, last by marval 17:20 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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Slapshot

Two Books

Students at a local school were assigned to read two books, 'Titanic' & 'My Life' by Bill Clinton. One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly...
21:04 Mon 05th Dec 20113 answers, last by missprim 16:29 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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starone

98 and no enemies - a touching human story

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" Eighty per cent held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All...
23:17 Mon 05th Dec 20116 answers, last by hungrywolf8u 16:55 Wed 04th Feb 2015
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maggiebee

McDonalds

I've been banned from McDonalds! A rather plump girl served me food in McDonalds at lunch time. She said “sorry about the wait”. I said “don't worry, you’re bound to lose it...
00:01 Tue 06th Dec 20115 answers, last by Avatar 14:04 Wed 07th Dec 2011
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wildwood

An Irish ghost story

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so...
03:59 Tue 06th Dec 20112 answers, last by missprim 16:22 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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wildwood

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION

SKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE: 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life. 2. I see your face...
04:36 Tue 06th Dec 20117 answers, last by maggiebee 19:09 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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starone

Nice smell

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I break wind, the room smells lovely....
09:19 Tue 06th Dec 20115 answers, last by missprim 16:13 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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marval

Too good?

I know that it sounds too good to be true, but ... The police busted a man selling “Secret Formula” tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through the files, the police noticed...
15:36 Tue 06th Dec 20113 answers, last by Starbuckone 22:53 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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missprim

Halloween Quiz

I entered a Halloween Quiz in October and have just got the results back. One of the questions I was stuck on was 'Sounds like Del Boy in a Cape' 5,7 For those of you who watched Only Fools and Horses...
11:16 Tue 06th Dec 20113 answers, last by Vicasso 11:50 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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granny grump

Life !!

A group of girlfriends, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally, it was agreed that they would meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there were handsome, with...
18:34 Mon 05th Dec 20116 answers, last by wildwood 04:05 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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naomi24

So who's going to win X-Factor?

My money's on Marcus. He's a real entertainer - and what a lovely, handsome, smiley face he has! :o)
15:25 Mon 05th Dec 201124 answers, last by squarebear 22:38 Tue 06th Dec 2011
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missprim

Please tell me........

what does imo mean. I see it all the time and I just can't work out what it means. Thanks.
14:41 Mon 05th Dec 20117 answers, last by BAKERS DOZEN 22:09 Mon 05th Dec 2011
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anotheoldgit

Who and what was to blame for the riots?

People quizzed who said a cause was 'important' or 'very important' Poverty - 86% Policing - 85% Government policy - 80% Unemployment - 79% Shooting of Mark Duggan - 75% (pictured above) Social media...
12:36 Mon 05th Dec 201141 answers, last by atrollope 01:03 Fri 09th Dec 2011
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eddiek

SEASONAL

wife just bought a Jehovahs Witness advent calender.Every time you open a window a head pops out and shouts - Bugger off
19:28 Sun 04th Dec 20114 answers, last by rowanwitch 11:26 Mon 05th Dec 2011

1381 to 1400 of 1949

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