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starone

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maggiebee

Male Or Female?

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They...
18:55 Mon 29th Apr 20133 answers, last by cupid04 22:25 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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DTCwordfan

Ttfn & Moony 3

Moony decides to visit Bournemouth to see TTFN. Over dinner he brags that despite his advanced years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. After a long day of cognac drinking, TTFN...
17:22 Mon 29th Apr 20138 answers, last by ttfn 23:30 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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DTCwordfan

Ttfn & Mooney (2)

Mooney marries his lovely 25 year old TTFN. Because her new husband is so old, TTFN decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites. She is concerned that the old raker could...
17:09 Mon 29th Apr 20136 answers, last by ttfn 23:49 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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marval

Buy One Get Two Free

I heard on the news this morning that an unknown man pick pocketed a midget. How could anyone stoop so low? What did the egg say to the water? You get hot, I'll get hard, and we’ll be done in 3...
16:57 Mon 29th Apr 20131 answer, last by starone 22:14 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

The Whole Truth...

At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides...
14:25 Mon 29th Apr 20132 answers, last by starone 22:12 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

I Like Your Thinking....

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little George. "None he says, they all fly away with the first...
14:05 Mon 29th Apr 20132 answers, last by Flyhalf 12:46 Wed 01st May 2013
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Jemisa

Healing...

An elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching...
13:45 Mon 29th Apr 20133 answers, last by marval 22:09 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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starone

An Irish Ghost Story

A Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could...
23:09 Sun 28th Apr 20137 answers, last by excelsior-1 09:45 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Three Types...

A man walked into the ladies department of Marks&Spencers He shyly walked up to the sales lady behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife' 'What type of bra?' asked the sales...
22:17 Sun 28th Apr 20133 answers, last by marval 09:38 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Essex Joke....

The boss called Johnson into his office... Johnson, we giving you a promotion but you have to move to Essex, . Johnson: ESSEX !! he said with a raised voice "Nothing comes from there except...
22:42 Sun 28th Apr 20135 answers, last by excelsior-1 09:43 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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starone

Lost In The Desert

A nun and a priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed...
22:33 Sun 28th Apr 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 09:41 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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anotheoldgit

I Wonder How Many Wealthy Pensioners Would Be Prepaired To Hand Their Benefits Back?have Handed Their

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22327335 Should all such benefits be 'means tested', and where would this end, should 'rich' pensioners also be made to pay for NHS health care etc?...
12:28 Sun 28th Apr 201358 answers, last by New Judge 16:37 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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marval

Three Blondes

Brunette: I love the new shaving cream I got. It works great! It makes my legs feel so silky. Blonde: Shaving cream never works for me. I've given up on using it. Brunette: Are you sure your razor...
14:00 Sun 28th Apr 20134 answers, last by starone 22:25 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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moonraker558

Ttfn V Moony

Ttfn & Moony were on their wedding night in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, Moony, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to Ttfn and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on...
10:47 Sun 28th Apr 201325 answers, last by Psybbo 17:10 Mon 29th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

Just Been Out...

...to do the weekly checks on the car (oil level, tyre pressures etc) when i got to the air machine at the garage, i noted the cost had gone up from 30p to 50p i asked the attendant "why the increase...
10:25 Sun 28th Apr 20134 answers, last by Svejk 22:36 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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excelsior-1

Sound Familiar, Ladies?

What a woman says... This place is a mess! C'mon! You and I need to clean up! Your stuff is lying on the floor and You'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now! What a man hears......
08:19 Sun 28th Apr 20132 answers, last by starone 22:18 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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Tilly2

I Didn't Realise I Had So Many....

pair of socks. I have just emptied my washing basket and consequently have put 28 pairs of assorted coloured socks in the washing machine. I still have socks in my sock drawer, I haven't run out or...
08:42 Sun 28th Apr 201383 answers, last by Tilly2 13:18 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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marval

Why?

A mother took her son Willie to his first concert. The conductor was leading the orchestra and directing the soprano soloist as well. Willie was greatly interested. “Mother, why is that man shaking...
17:07 Sat 27th Apr 20134 answers, last by Jemisa 23:01 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Lynda...

My Daughter Lynda A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says, "Ok, Mrs. Smith, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter Lynda. She keeps getting these...
13:32 Sat 27th Apr 20136 answers, last by queenofmean 18:07 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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murraymints

Ed....gimme Back My Badge

You've taken my ten year badge...fine...gimme back my two year...or I'll sulk......
17:59 Fri 26th Apr 201322 answers, last by Alston 19:39 Sat 27th Apr 2013

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