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starone

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maggiebee

Amazing Sight

As well as filling bird feeders, I usually scatter some seed on the patio so I can watch the birds from my window. Spotted movement and there was a little vole having a fine feed. Moments later a...
10:55 Sat 27th Apr 20134 answers, last by headwreck 22:37 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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maggiebee

An Oldie

Boss: “Do you believe in life after death?” Employee: “Certainly not. There’s no proof of it!” Boss: “Well there is now. After you left early yesterday to go to your uncle’s funeral he...
09:06 Sat 27th Apr 20132 answers, last by starone 10:57 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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ummmm

Train...

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You bastards...
07:55 Sat 27th Apr 20133 answers, last by Psybbo 16:25 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Poets....

500 years ago in an ancient pub two of the worlds greatest poets sat, ROBERT BURNS and WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. they were to have a contest to find out which one is better at telling stories. They were to...
23:02 Fri 26th Apr 20136 answers, last by marval 16:11 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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Gizmonster

A Guy Walks Into A Bank And Says, "i Want To Open A F***ing Bank Account" ....

.... to which the teller replied, "I beg your pardon, what did you say?" "Listen up, damn it! I said I want to open a f***ing bank account, right now!" "Sir, I'm sorry, but we don't tolerate that kind...
16:24 Fri 26th Apr 20136 answers, last by EDDIE51 22:21 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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marval

Another Adults Only

Sex in a boat - oar-gasms. Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms. Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms. Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms. Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms. Sex at a Steven...
13:21 Fri 26th Apr 201372 answers, last by marval 12:12 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

When You Grow Up...

Teacher asks the kids what they would like to be when they grow up.... "Little Harry: "I want to be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take my best bird with me, give her a Ferrari...
11:52 Fri 26th Apr 20134 answers, last by starone 10:48 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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starone

Age Related Macular Degeneration

I have age related macular degeneration and want to delay it (partial blindness) as long as possible. Recently I read that saffron pills would help but have googled it and cannot find anything to...
10:16 Sat 27th Apr 20136 answers, last by york310 08:43 Sun 28th Apr 2013
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AlwaysConfused

241 Days To Go

and fourteen hours and 26 minutes. http://www.xmasclock.com/ This better get my blinkin' badge back! It was mine, MINE I tell thee!...
08:35 Sat 27th Apr 20134 answers, last by AlwaysConfused 10:33 Sat 27th Apr 2013
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albaqwerty

The Pay Rise

A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?' Maria: 'Well, Señora,...
14:17 Thu 25th Apr 201313 answers, last by starone 07:52 Fri 26th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

The Pill,,,,

A female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give a man a shot of Novocain . "No way! No needles. I hate needles" the patient said... The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man...
21:52 Wed 24th Apr 20134 answers, last by starone 07:45 Fri 26th Apr 2013
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Steve.5

Its A Funny Old Game

A group of Bayern Munich fans have been spotted going into Wembley tonight. We think they've gone to put towels down on their seats in time for the final....
16:07 Wed 24th Apr 20135 answers, last by starone 07:42 Fri 26th Apr 2013
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marval

Appologies To The Australians And The Chinese

Sun Wen from China decides to move to Australia after having spent most of his life in China. He moves to a small Australian town in the countryside. Shaun, the Aussie guy next door decides to welcome...
13:48 Wed 24th Apr 20131 answer, last by starone 07:36 Fri 26th Apr 2013
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numnum

Sex Education, 4 Year Olds, Opinions??

Me and a friend are quite shocked at a mutual friend teaching her 4 year old the birds and the bees and letting her watch programmes like One Born Every Minute and showing her labour videos on you...
19:01 Wed 24th Apr 201316 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 18:46 Fri 10th May 2013
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Jemisa

Mirror Mirror....

A young woman buys a mirror at an antique fair from a gypsy, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my breasts...
23:07 Sun 21st Apr 20136 answers, last by marval 18:11 Mon 22nd Apr 2013
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Jeza

I Think I'm Losing My Mind...

I have a drawer in the kitchen in which I keep crisps, choc bars, jelly babies etc. I know there were 3 wagon wheels and 5 tubes of mints in there among other bits. Just gone for a pack of mints and...
17:33 Sun 21st Apr 201323 answers, last by islasmum 12:11 Mon 22nd Apr 2013
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CailinDeas

Just Had To Share These.....hope You Laugh Out Loud....

These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow 1. The patient has no previous history of suicide. 2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital. 3....
16:44 Sun 21st Apr 201314 answers, last by crosswhit99 16:38 Wed 24th Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Country Lane....

After a meal and a film, Chris drove his date to a quiet country lane and made his move. When Michelle responded enthusiastically to his kissing, he tried sliding his hand up inside her blouse....
11:31 Sun 21st Apr 20136 answers, last by starone 19:03 Sun 21st Apr 2013
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magicmick

Pancake Day

Brenda took her six year old son to see the doctor, With some hesitation she said that allthough her little angel appeared to be in good health she was concerned over his very small p???s. After...
22:52 Sat 20th Apr 20132 answers, last by starone 19:00 Sun 21st Apr 2013
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Jemisa

Loony Bin....

A man goes into a psychiatric hospital to visit one of his old mates. As he is walking out he notices a bloke pretending to be swinging a cricket bat . Curious, he asks: What are you doing? The bloke...
22:35 Fri 19th Apr 20138 answers, last by RATTER15 13:23 Fri 26th Apr 2013

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