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Voltage

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Voltage

A Woman In Hospital..!

A woman has a vaginal tuck, wakes up to see 3 bunches of flowers in her room. One from the doctor with the message "Every thing went well". The second bunch was from her husband "Get well soon" and...
10:49 Fri 10th Aug 20184 answers, last by Togo 14:23 Mon 13th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Early For A Meeting!

This morning I went to a meeting of my Premature Ejaculation Support Group. The receptionist told me "sorry Mr volty it's tomorrow you came to early" Ok I said "I'll come again tomorrow "...
12:27 Thu 09th Aug 20182 answers, last by Voltage 12:37 Thu 09th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Charity Event Last Night!

Raised hundreds of pounds at my Bronchitis Support charity event last night. Everyone coughed up...
08:13 Thu 09th Aug 20187 answers, last by DTCwordfan 14:47 Mon 13th Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Wife Just Snapped At Me....!

'I'm sick of you teasing me about my weight,' my wife snapped as she walked out the door. 'Please don't go' I pleaded. 'Think of our baby' 'What baby?' she said. 'You're not pregnant ??...
14:14 Wed 08th Aug 20183 answers, last by Patsy33 15:26 Wed 08th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Girl In A Pub!!!

I told a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling her boobs. "Go on" she said, "Try then" After about thirty seconds of fondling she lost patience and...
10:50 Wed 08th Aug 201812 answers, last by tonyav 00:12 Sat 11th Aug 2018
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Voltage

New Zealand Farmer..!

Q. Why did the New Zealand farmer become a Muslim? A. Because he really loves ‘islamb....
10:37 Wed 08th Aug 20181 answer, last by Patsy33 11:53 Wed 08th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Waiter...!

I hate my job as a waiter. But i suppose it puts food on the table....
22:37 Tue 07th Aug 20182 answers, last by marval 14:37 Wed 08th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Subways..!

I just went back to subways and said to the girl behind the counter "I just bought a sandwich from you and two teeth fell out" She said " you must have bit down to hard on your sandwich" I said "their...
19:16 Tue 07th Aug 20182 answers, last by Patsy33 19:34 Tue 07th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Blind Date..!

My mate set me up on a blind date. He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know... She's expecting a baby." I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a...
14:57 Tue 07th Aug 201813 answers, last by Shaglene 11:31 Wed 08th Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Blonde Wife...!

My blonde wife’s car got stolen while she was out the other day. I said ,“Were you able to see what the guy looked like?” She replied, “No, but I got the license plate number!”...
15:52 Mon 06th Aug 20186 answers, last by Shaglene 07:13 Tue 07th Aug 2018
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Voltage

I Really Wish....!

I really wish Beyonce had married Roy Castle....
09:35 Sun 05th Aug 20185 answers, last by zabado 14:39 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Just Seen My Doctor..!

I just got home from seeing my doctor. I tried to tell him I'm suffering from schizophernia. But he didn't listen. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself!...
20:20 Sat 04th Aug 20186 answers, last by Canary42 13:13 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Since My Wife Left....!

Since my wife left, I've bought a motorcycle, drugs and am currently in bed with two prostitutes. She's going to kill me when she comes home from work....
12:14 Sat 04th Aug 20186 answers, last by Voltage 09:30 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Daughter!

My 16 year old daughter asked me, what was the best form of contraception? My reply was: “A tic tac.” She said: The mints? How will a tic tac stop me getting pregnant? I said: “you hold it...
22:28 Fri 03rd Aug 20183 answers, last by 1ozzy 08:17 Sun 05th Aug 2018
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Voltage

Oops Again!

My wife told me that she used to be Christian. "That's not a problem " I told her. "Thanks" she said I'm much happier being a Christine now!!...
15:22 Fri 03rd Aug 20187 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:31 Fri 03rd Aug 2018
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Voltage

My Wife's Inhaler...!

Sometimes I hide my wife's inhaler... The neighbours think I'm a stud when they hear her panting heavily "give it to me!"...
10:12 Thu 02nd Aug 20184 answers, last by Voltage 18:02 Thu 02nd Aug 2018
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Voltage

New Sex Scam...beware!

Guys, be careful. there is a new scam going on. Two girls ......one comes to you and has sex with you whilst the other one steals all of your money. I have been robbed 13 times, so stay safe...
08:57 Wed 01st Aug 20183 answers, last by Voltage 19:33 Wed 01st Aug 2018
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Voltage

I Held A Seminar On......

The other day I held a seminar on how to withhold orgasms. what a waste of my time.... Nobody came....
08:47 Wed 01st Aug 20189 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:41 Wed 01st Aug 2018
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Voltage

New Clock....!

I bought a battery powered clock today. When I got home, I noticed that they had given me the wrong one. I thought "This is a wind up!"...
15:09 Tue 31st Jul 201813 answers, last by Voltage 23:03 Tue 31st Jul 2018
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Voltage

Anti Depressants.....!

To the person who stole all my anti depressants I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW !!!...
08:55 Tue 31st Jul 201811 answers, last by DTCwordfan 18:11 Tue 31st Jul 2018

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