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Woodsz

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Woodsz

A,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k.

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her He looked at her for a while, then said, "You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K." She asks ......
23:15 Fri 24th Jan 20142 answers, last by trt 23:35 Fri 24th Jan 2014
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Woodsz

A Little Aussie Humour...

An Italian, a Frenchman and an Aussie were talking about screams of passion. The Italian said: "Last night I massaged my wife all over her body with the finest extra Virgin olive oil, then we made...
23:08 Wed 27th Nov 20135 answers, last by baza 23:42 Wed 27th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Australian Love Poem

Of course I love ya darlin You're a bloody top-notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous I mean every single word So ya bum is on the big side I don't mind a bit of flab It means that when I'm ready...
22:37 Sun 24th Nov 201310 answers, last by starone 15:59 Mon 25th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Grandma's Letter

She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car. She writes: Dear Grand-daughter, The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper...
20:22 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Thanks

A woman wakes up after a vaginal tuck, to find three bunches of flowers on her window sill.. One from her surgeon, to say all went well, One from her husband, "get well soon", and he loved her, One...
20:20 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Cheeky

The woman asked the pharmacist, "Do you have Viagra?" "Yes," he answered. She asked, "Does it work?" "Yes," he answered. She said, "Can you get it over the counter?" "I can, if I take two," he...
20:13 Sun 24th Nov 20133 answers, last by ELVIS68 22:38 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Far Away In The Tropical Waters

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean , two prawns were swimming around in the sea, one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and...
20:06 Sun 24th Nov 20132 answers, last by marval 22:31 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

F.u.c.k.

The children and grand children of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you...
18:52 Sun 24th Nov 20131 answer, last by tonyav 18:54 Sun 24th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Parenthood

•If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor! •Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same...
23:49 Sun 17th Nov 20133 answers, last by starone 19:40 Tue 19th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Your Irst Christmas Card

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas And when its all the whites gone I'm going to drink the red...
21:31 Sat 16th Nov 20132 answers, last by maggiebee 22:23 Sat 16th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

The Nun Flags Down A Cab

The Nun Flags down a cab She gets into the cab, and notices that the driver is VERY handsome Cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask...
15:04 Mon 11th Nov 20133 answers, last by starone 09:16 Tue 12th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

I'm Fine!! How Are You?

It is better to say "I'm fine" with a grin, Than to let people know the shape we are in. I'M FINE!! HOW ARE YOU? There's nothing the matter with me, I'm just as healthy as can be, I have arthritis in...
08:12 Mon 11th Nov 20134 answers, last by frozengal 09:31 Tue 12th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

As I Mature……………………..

As I Mature I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just...
15:16 Fri 08th Nov 20134 answers, last by Butterbun 23:30 Fri 08th Nov 2013
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Woodsz

Seniors & Computers...........

As we SilverSurfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers. I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him...
21:34 Wed 30th Oct 20134 answers, last by frozengal 07:11 Thu 31st Oct 2013
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Woodsz

Job Interview:

Job Interview: Human Resources Manager: "What is your greatest weakness?" Old Man : "Honesty." Human Resources Manager: "I don't think honesty is a weakness." Old Man : "I don't really give a f***...
13:20 Mon 21st Oct 20134 answers, last by frozengal 11:00 Wed 23rd Oct 2013
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Woodsz

Keep Your Mouth Shut

A man is walking behind his wife and says,"Baby, your arse is getting so fat, it's looking like a washing machine." The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking. Bedtime comes around, the man is asking for...
19:07 Thu 17th Oct 201311 answers, last by jd_1984 16:53 Fri 18th Oct 2013
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Woodsz

Women Who Know Their Place

WOMEN WHO KNOW THEIR PLACE Barbara Walters, of 20/20 , did a story on gender roles in Kabul , Afghanistan , several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces...
22:36 Tue 15th Oct 20135 answers, last by Woodsz 07:27 Wed 16th Oct 2013
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Woodsz

'i Hate My Job'

When you have anday, [Even if you're retired, you sometimes have those days] Try this out: Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson &...
15:36 Mon 14th Oct 20134 answers, last by Old_Geezer 15:51 Mon 14th Oct 2013
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Woodsz

Mathematical Help.

The General Manager of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his Secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, 'You graduated from...
21:58 Tue 01st Oct 20134 answers, last by jim360 22:08 Tue 01st Oct 2013
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Woodsz

Australian Drover

Drover: "Give me three packets of condoms, please." Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Drover: "Nah.... She ain't that ugly."...
08:48 Sun 22nd Sep 20132 answers, last by tonyav 19:45 Sun 22nd Sep 2013

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