A Better Poem

[Stargazer]

Spring is sprung
the grass is ris'
I wonder where
dem birdies is?

[gness]

I was sent home by an aunt to say to my mother....Polish it behind the door.
Was months before I understood why I got a smack.

[mrs.chappie]

There's bad peeps, good peeps,
Oft misunderstood peeps,
"Think-they-know-it-all" peeps (bangs head against brick wall)...

There's "couldn't-give-a-stuff" peeps,
And "always-takes-the-huff" peeps,
"Can't-ever-say-enough" peeps (I think we've heard it all).

"I'm-always-feeling-rough" peeps,
"I've-really-had-enough" peeps,
"I'm-always-strong-and-tough" peeps (but heading for a fall).

There's sickly sweet and nice peeps,
Gives really good advice peeps,
"I'm-always-so-precise" peeps (I hope you like my drawl)...

Some lonely, ill or sad peeps,
And "really-had-it-bad" peeps,
Some "always-sound-so-mad" peeps (but always on the ball).

Some outright rude, "care-not-a-jot-and-don't-care-what-they-say" peeps,
"Don't-care-if-I-offend,-my-friend,-I'll-say-it-come-what-may" peeps,
"My wisdom,-wit-and-repartee-beats-yours-in-every-way" peeps,
"I'll-not-give-in, not-let-you-win,-I'll-make-you-feel-so-small".

But one thing that's for sure, peeps,
I think it should be said...

There's room for all in AB land...
There's even room for Fred.

(God bless Fred...now there was a poster who was oft misunderstood).

[gness]

Yay!!!! You found it. x

[cupid04]

In days of old
when knights were bold
and lavatories hadn't been invented
they did their load
In the middle of the road
And went home quite contented.

[shoota]

Now I wanna know what flavour of 'peep' I am.....

[mrs.chappie]

That'd be telling. :o)

[maggiebee]

Here's another one Cupid:

In days of old
When knights were bold
And paper hadn't been invented
They had to use grass
To wipe there a*se
And walk away contented

[gness]

In days of old,
When knights were bold,
And suits were made of tin.
Gness would have needed a can opener,
When she felt the urge to sin. ;-)

[shoota]

I got a Swiss army knife....

[gness]

Ahh...good...because my horse has got a........ ;-) x

[Ann]

The Gardener's Hymn (a new slant on the favourite hymn!)

All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all.

But what we never mention, though gardeners know it's true
Is ....When God made the good things - He made the bad things too!
All things spray and swattable,
Disasters great and small
All things paraquattable,
The Lord God made them all.

The greenfly on the roses,
the maggots in the peas,
Manure that fills our noses,
He also gave us these.

The thorn that pricks your bo-ot-tom
The thistle up your sock
And when the nettle stings your arm
You can never find a Dock ( Leaf)

The fungus on the goosegogs, the club root on the greens,
The slugs that eat the lettuce, and chew the aubergines.

All things dry and vuln'rable
The year we get a drought
So where's the rain and thundr'able
The Lord God sent us now't.

The drought that kills the fuschias, the frost that nips the buds,
The rain that drowns the seedlings, the blight that hits the spuds.

All seed comes in packets now
You only get a few
Better space these far apart
This packets only TWO

The midges and mosquitoes, the nettles and the weeds,
The pigeons eat your green stuff, the sparrows eat your seeds.

All Birds in the gar'den
The blue tit and the jay
I'm trying to shoot the pidg'e'ons
But they escape away


The fly that gets the carrots, the wasp that eats the plums,
How black the gardener's outlook, though green may be his thumbs.

All kinds of aches and ai'ail'ments
From bending down to till
I've joined the Ladies fitness class
Much better than a pill!


But still we gardeners labour, midst vegetables and flowers,
And pray what blights our neighbours, will somehow by-pass ours!
All veg'gies large and showable
Me turnips seven stone
Three prizes - best of show as well
'Cept none of it's me own!

My lawns all moss and buttercups, My borders full of twitch
Somethings crawled up my trouser leg, now some parts of me itch!
All things creep and crawlable
The ants are in me pants
Stop looking while I scratch myself
And do a little dance.

It's nothing but disaster, on onion, leek, or rose,
From now I'll do my gardening, in Morrisons or Tescos!

[marval]

My puppy punched me in the eye.
My rabbit whacked my ear.
My ferret gave a frightful cry
and roundhouse kicked my rear.

My lizard flipped me upside down.
My kitten kicked my head.
My hamster slammed me to the ground
and left me nearly dead.

So my advice? Avoid regrets;
no matter what you do,
don't ever let your family pets
take lessons in kung fu.

[venator]

Yesterday, upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today...
I wish to heck he'd go away

Me mum used to recite that to me.

[MyBlackHen]

Little fly upon the wall
Aint you got no clothes at all?
Ain't you got no shoes and socksies?
Ain't you got no knickerbocksies?
Ain;t you cold?

[shoota]

Lessons in the art of shooting pigeons are readily available.
Enquire within :-)

[Ann]

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.

[Ann]

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

[venator]

Please complete -
There was a young person on Answerbank

[MyBlackHen]

Little fly upon the wall
Ain't you got no folks at all?
Ain't you got no mum or dad?
BASTARD !

[maggiebee]

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've often seen her little lamb
But I've never seen her bear