My Bf

[sophia5188]

Should I be concerned that my boyfrined has met a girl about 5 times and constantly txts her alot more than he txts me and talks 2 her on msn more than he talks 2 me...at partys they both flirt with each other. I thought it was just me but my friends have started 2 pick up on it now. Im started 2 get jealous and although ive brought it up with him and he said that they're just close friends I still cant help but get jealous. The thing is I totally trust him. But Im not sure whther I trust this girl. and when she starts 2 be flirty my bf starts it too. Please lemme kno wat u fink

[missmooncat]

I would be worried if he is paying more attention to her.You are justified to be jealous>Ask yourself if you were doing the same with another guy would he be jealous?-bet he would.You need to have a good talk with him,just ask him straight.

[sophia5188]

I have done that and he said that he just thinks she is a really close friend. I'm not sure whats goin on with them...it's really confusing :S

[dothawkes]

I think you should remember three little words, denial, denial, denial.  And never believe a word he says but let him think you do and bide your time, they will slip up, and check his phone for multi-media messages too!

[beema]

Hmm, I understand you feeling jealous but if they are just friends as he says then it depends on how serious your relationship is before I could say if I thought it inappropriate behaviour. For example if you are living together or are engaged then I think you would be justified in asking him not to be so familiar with her. If your relationship is less serious or in its early stages then I don't its necessarily wrong for him to pursue a friendship and if you don't say anything then it will probably run its course.

[jodie1404]

im only 16 and so u probably wont want my advice!! lol but im gona give it u anyway!! ........they could be just rele good friends , but in reality have u ever seen a man be tht close to a girl and just beeing friends? if i was u id be concerned to but also scared to harm the relationship! its a tricky situation as u dont want to damage any trust by goin through his personal belongings e.g a mobile!! be honest about the whole thing with him and atleast that way if he isnt cheating u wont end up feeling guilty and in the wrong by not trusting him ( and going through his personal things!) and if he is cheating he cant make it out to be ure fault by saying he did it because u dont trust him and u ruined the relationship! (which trust me most men always use that 1 in the hope that u'll forgive him and think it was ur fault)  so think seriously about this because its a serious accusation, i think this is something u should discuss honestly and properly together, alone!! or else all this worrying will drive u mad and end up ruining the relationship anyway!!

[jodie1404]

also when u discuss this dont just say 'um wats going on with u 2' and when he says nothing just leave it!! talk properly and tell him exactly how u feel , tell him u dont want to ruin the relationship with ur suspicions but how would he feel if the tables were turned and he thought u were the 1 cheating with someone u claimed to be just close friends with!  tell him what u see ( like him flirting etc...)  hope this helps and you can sort it all out!!

[mycatis]

My best friend is a guy and we are really close and there has never been anything dodgy about our relationship, they could really just be friends

[Frankie Babe]

just wondering how do you actually know he texts her more & uses MSN more than with you?  Is it somehting he's said, something youve seen or just worries?

[Englishbird]

Yes, there is a possibility that they could just be friends.

But frankly, i would not be impressed if my boyfriend was behaving like this and I think Jodie1404's advice is spot on (even if she is only 16 lol! ;o)

The fact is that his behaviour is upsetting you, which, if you have a future together, he should be considerate of.

[sophia5188]

It isnt a serious relationship, I have only been with him for a year. He has admitted to texting her more than me and when he is on webcam he is chattin to her more than he chats to me. That is how I know. I am going to leave things for a week or so and try not to show my jealousy as we have a few partys this wek that she will be at and i'll just see how things go. Thanks for all your help

[Alixw]

When you say that he has met this girl 5 times do you mean he only ever seen her 5 times? If so, I don't exactly see how they can just be 'close friends'?! surely a close friend is one you have known for ages, shared things with etc, not someone you've only met 5 times!!!! If it was me in your position, I wouldnt be happy at all.

[b13thy]

Last year my group of mates befriended some new people and one of the new girls got on with my man really well - i was wary of her to start with (as this girl was already causing trouble within my group of friends) with but was pleased that he was making friends (as hes a bit sad and has none of his own). They were texting each other alot and spending time with each other when me and my other friends were going out. Anyway, to cut a very long story short i found out (via phone snooping)that they had got really drunk and had a sort of mutual grope (while i was passed out upstairs). Obviously i went loco and finshed him and had words with her. Took him back in the end but the trust issue is ongoing.

All i can say is that first impressions (in this sort of case) are usually right - i was wary to start with and let my guard down (fool that i am) and got hurt. So i would advise caution. And if you are going phone snooping be very careful - my boyfriend went bonkers that i had been 'invading his privacy' even though he was the one invading another girls pants! Honestly, its enough to turn you gay :)

[Kev_UK]

Hi sophia5188, it seems to me that you do not trust him although you say you do.. it takes two to tango and it sounds like you don't trust him if this girl made advances towards him.
As already mentioned, tell him to invite her to a pub or somewhere and join you as a couple.. that way you will get to know her. Personally though I'd say plenty more fish in the sea.. time to move on.
B13thy, hey no wonder the good men are without a woman if they all turn gay because of the bad lads out there.
Not that I've any objection to a woman being gay or bi-sexual..

[bun buns]

i would be rather worried if i were you. A year is long enough time to be committed to a relationship. Your partner should not be flirting, especially not in front of you. I think both of their behaviour is very inappropriate. I know it isnt right but i would be inclined to sneak a look at the messages, just to be sure. If they are close frineds, fine, but they should def not be flirting.

[mash]

I don't think that texts and msn necessarily means they are up to anything, but flirting is different. Friends don't flirt with each other, especially when then know partners are around! Try cooling off for a while and seeing other people, if he's mad about you he will come after you, if he's mad for this girl he we take the oppertunity, at least you get an answer either way. Good luck.

[Steamrunner]

I would be much more concerned, if I were you, about my inability to use words such as "to", "parties" , "you" , "texts" , "let me" , "know" , "what" and "think"

Maybe if you realised that on the internet YOU DON'T PAY BY THE LETTER your drivel would be more readily comprehensible to the more mature minded individual.

Also you fail to mention your age, your boyfriend's age, and the age of your love rival, this indeed has a bearing on the situation, as does whether or not she's more attractive than you, more sexual and more willing to "experiment"

As a general rule of thumb, I'd say this:

Dump the bloke. Sooner or later he'll cheat on you, with this girl you're scared of or with someone else.

Sign up for literacy classes, cyber sex is much more pleasurable when both parties can spell,

and when you've passed a basic literacy course, IM me on AOL

sh8k3y.

peace.

[irisred]

He's not giving you the respect you deserve!

Either bring him up on it and tell him it hurts you or get rid of him and find your self a lovely bloke who'll treat you the way you deserve to be!

Life is too short!

[stevie21]

One of my best mates is a girl who I always greet with a hug. We flirt all the time but she's like a sister so I'd never go beyond the (constant) flirting. It could be something like this.
Similarly, it could be a sign that they fancy each other. There's no way for us to tell.

Is she flirty with *everyone* or just your lad?

[sophia5188]

My boyfriend told me last night that about 3 weeks ago she told him on msn that she liked him and he said to her that he was flattered, and nothing is going on with them because he loves me and he's told her how much he loves me. She has moved onto another lad now and although she's admitted to liking my boyfriend more than this other lad nothing seems to have happened....yet!