If you saw a friends husband with another woman.....

[crystalbee27]

and it looked more romantic date than business lunch would you tell her?

[crystalbee27]

unfortunately this is not a hypothetical question and is 'after the fact' and I should have gone over and said hi but kind of shrank into the background and hoped he wouldn't see me - don't ask me why I have no idea

[jackthehat]

Keep your powder dry....

[crystalbee27]

@jackthehat ??? gunpowder or face powder ;-)

[Eve]

Way too easy to jump to conclusions and cause merry hell over something which could be perfectly innocent. I have a lot of male friends and would think nothing of going for a meal with them or male colleagues on a purely platonic basis. I could be out for a meal with my brother or any of my cousins. My ex would regularly meet his wife for lunch, I never had any issue with it, no need to - we'd also all be out together with her partner too and their mutual friends (they spent a long time together and broke up very amicably, I always respected that).

I remember years ago leaving the building I lived in at the time and seeing two former colleagues bascially entangled in a way that couldn't not have been misconstrued. He lived in the same block of flats as me with another former colleague he was in a relationship with, her being more of a friend, and they had recently had a baby together.

I said nothing, made some casual enquiries and turned out they had split and he got together with the one I saw him with and they now also have had a child together.

[jackthehat]

Gunpowder.....you don't need to use it now but it may come in useful later.

[crystalbee27]

He didn't see me so maybe I should just keep quiet all together and just be there for her if the poo does hit the fan .

[emmie]

crystal indeed that would the sensible thing to do.

[Smowball]

maybe if you get a chance to see him on his own and tell him that you saw him out for lunch. His reaction should tell you all you need to know. You dont have to then do anything.

[weecalf]

Guy I know won a prize at a night out buy admitting her was there with another mans wife .No problem it was his mother.

[rowanwitch]

I'd make sure he knew I'd seen him and wait for him to seek me out later with an excuse if they are guilty they always seem to do that...with the 'you won't tell my OH will you?' sometimes the fear of it getting back is enough especially if the flirtation is in its early stages..

[brenda]

No-- none of my business.

[joggerjayne]

Is it just me who would tell ?

[sadielady]

No!!

[sunny-dave]

How about if it was a girlie friend who was out with someone other than her OH .... ?

[joggerjayne]

"How about if it was a girlie friend who was out with someone other than her OH .... ?"

I wouldn't tell.

I would never rat on a girl friend.

[sunny-dave]

Which I think sort of sums the whole thread up - "it depends" on where your main loyalty lies :=)

[ummmm]

No, would keep quiet.

[joggerjayne]

Absolutely, Dave ...

It depends on where your loyalty lies.

I don't claim to have a logical moral argument. But I would tell my gal pals everything, and I would keep their secrets unconditionally.

[LoftyLottie]

Absolutely not. None of my business. My business is only what friends choose to discuss with me. If a friend asked if I had seen her husband with another woman I would be truthful. But never in a million years would I want the responsibility of telling them what I suspected. It opens up a horrible can of worms. People's private lives are just that - unless they disclose them to me.

[LoftyLottie]

I completely agree with Jenna.