News1 min ago
Am i being unreasonable?
51 Answers
My girlfriend has a male friend who she goes for coffee and shopping with a couple of times a week, he is single.
This irritates me and i really cant help it, its not that i think she would cheat with him but its more if people i know see them out together i get the "ooh i seen your gf with another man the other night having coffee" snide remarks,
i had female friends when i was single but since being in a relationship i have explained to them that it wouldnt be right to be out with them,
I really dont like this person my gf sees so there is no hope of talking it through with him, i cant pretend to like him.
am i being selfish?
This irritates me and i really cant help it, its not that i think she would cheat with him but its more if people i know see them out together i get the "ooh i seen your gf with another man the other night having coffee" snide remarks,
i had female friends when i was single but since being in a relationship i have explained to them that it wouldnt be right to be out with them,
I really dont like this person my gf sees so there is no hope of talking it through with him, i cant pretend to like him.
am i being selfish?
Answers
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No best answer has yet been selected by breadstick. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.
For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.I think in the 21st century it's perfectly acceptable to have both male and female friends. I have a very good male friend who I meet up with a few times a year for a drink and a catch up. His wife drives him to meet me and we always have a laugh about one woman bringing him and another driving him home. Been friends for 20 years. If people tittle tattle that's their problem.
Golly, breadstick ... I hope you had your tin hat ready for the barrage of posts telling you that you're unreasonable, selfish, insecure and overbearing.
However ... I know where you're coming from. All my regular friends are girls, and all my BF's regular friends are guys. If he was having coffee with a girl from work, during the day, that would be fine. But if he arranged to meet her to go shopping, I'd think it was a bit weird (unless he needed her to help him buy a really expensive present for me, LOL).
However ... I know where you're coming from. All my regular friends are girls, and all my BF's regular friends are guys. If he was having coffee with a girl from work, during the day, that would be fine. But if he arranged to meet her to go shopping, I'd think it was a bit weird (unless he needed her to help him buy a really expensive present for me, LOL).
Breadstick - could it be possible that this 'bloke' is gay and they are best buddies. I know of one particular woman who is in a relationship whose best mate is gay. they do everything together - shop, coffee, nights at the pictures and her boyfriend has no hang ups about it at all. When peole mention that they've seen 'A' with another bloke he p1sses himself laughing and asks if they've got nothing better to do than gossipmonger.
Very unreasonable, and if you don't not only stop whining about it but also try to put on a happy face about it she'll end up dumping you because no-one likes an unspoken criticism hanging in the air all the time and it erodes anything good.
Cheer up she's with you, she picked YOU, the people I feel sorry for are the girls who thought they were your friends before you weirdly dropped them because 'you're in a relationship' that's frankly just odd. I'm male btw.
Cheer up she's with you, she picked YOU, the people I feel sorry for are the girls who thought they were your friends before you weirdly dropped them because 'you're in a relationship' that's frankly just odd. I'm male btw.
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I wouldnt be happy about this either, it is VERY rare that men and women can be just friends. Why not go with her when she meets this friend, regardless that you dont like him, try and get to know him no matter how much it makes you cringe...any friend of hers should also be a friend of yours as you are part of her life.
It is not VERY rare at all purple- maybe it is for you and your friends but certainly not for me and mine. I can count at least a dozen platonic female friends I have, two close ones that I would never dream of getting physically involved with. Likewise my ex has plenty of platonic male friends. My kids all have platonic friends of the opposite sex as does everyone else I know. Why do you think it's so rare?
It is rare, I say this because there will always be one part of the 'friendship couple' (be it the man or the woman) that wishes for something 'more' out of it, human nature, one part of this 'friendship' couple does not see it as a 'friendship' but just a basis in the hope things may change from a friendship. I have a lot of male friends, whom I see them as nothing more than friends, but their occasional comments 'if things were different' etc etc...and this applies to all my male friends, needless to say I keep them at arms length and dont get too paly with them.
So you think I'm likely to be the subject of some gorgeous 23 year olds fantasy then do you, with her desperately hoping l'll come on to her, instead of just sharing an interest in genealogy? Wish I'd known that earlier .lol.
Sorry I don't buy the one half of unrequited love thing, sometimes a friend is just a freind, and that's how it should be.
Sorry I don't buy the one half of unrequited love thing, sometimes a friend is just a freind, and that's how it should be.