In relationship with married man!!!!!!!!

[lerler]

Hi all,need some advice.I've been with him for three years now.He's still with wife,she kind of like has a clue,but he just keeps fobbing her off.He tells me he needs to say because of his debts etc,we have a great time and love each other alot.We've tried the not seeing each other for a couple of mths,but where like a boomerang...we just keep getting together.What should one do...?

[legend006]

tasty what u mean?

im only watchin too

[lerler]

tasty is your husband back with you?Because your just as much of a fool for taking him back,the next day when he came grovelling back...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU ACTUALLY TOOK him back.I take it you TRUST him this time?

[pastafreak]

It is not just men who are weak....it takes two in any of these ' relationships'..........two people who are needy and have something to offer each other. They feed off a weakness.....maybe lerler does not have the confidence to find a truely available man-after all, she must have had an inkling of what she was letting herself in for.

[legend006]

why was i mentioned ?

[pastafreak]

I thought you were posting on here already-lol...maybe your opinion is valued?

[legend006]

tasty whats that to do with moi?
did u get confused ?

[pastafreak]

I really don't think I could hang on to anger that long.....it's just soul-destroying.

[Aprilis]

Lerler, you are wasting your life on this man. Trust me, he would be with you by now if he ever was going to be.

There is someone very close to me who has spent the last nearly 40 years in the same position as you are now. Yes, that's right, forty years!!! In the beginning she didn't listen to those who are close to her, she listened to all the false promises, Even years later when she knew that he was never going to leave his wife, she carried on regardless and has maintained that she was the one having her cake and eating it....man in her life but still independant etc... What a load of tosh! She is in her 60's now and has nothing whatsoever to show for giving nearly four decades of her life to this man. It breaks my heart to see her now, a pensioner living alone and in ill health.

Some may say it's her just desserts but, whatever, is that what you want for yourself; years and years of investing your love and time on someone you will never have? Because realistically, you know that if you don't have him by now, you never will.

[babybow]

as hard as it may be for you hun get out of the relationship, he is never going to leave his wife for you. you need to get on with your own life and get a man that will be your own and not shared.

[Ice.Maiden]

Strange, but having spoken to "other women" about their feelings, they all seem to be deluding themselves that the man's going to leave his wife, which in fact, they rarely do. Why should they? They're getting the comforts of home, and the buzz of an affair. In these situations, it seems that women allow their emotions to run away with them, whilst for the men, they know that by just telling these women that they love them, they can keep them on a string. It's usually just about sex, but as someone pointed out before, if lerler got the man, she'd soon find herself in the same rut as what gave the husband cause to cheat in the first place. It's never worth it hun! Men think below the waist, but us married women have a bit more "upstairs" and know the score. It doesn't take very much to understand what a man's weaknesses are!

[legend006]

tasty youre confusing me


am i the only one?

[pastafreak]

Not all men,thankgoodness......or should I say-some less than others!!

[legend006]

oh yes ?
tasty methinks youre upset and a bit messed up


dunno how i fit into this

[Ice.Maiden]

And when you find a man to call your own lerler - I hope you've become wise enough to pick one for deeper qualities than just wanting to have "fun". Remember, you could become the hard-done-to wife one day. You reap what you sow.

[Drisgirl]

I think primarily that tastymorsel is one hard hearted b!itch who has taken her man back and blamed the other woman when her man strayed in the first place and who can blame him - FFS -take yer venom out on him !!!

lerler -you know its not right -its not always easy I have been in a similar situation with who was my ex husband -yip a second time around shift but he couldnt afford a divorce so we did what we had to do and were biding our time -sadly his time was out too early.

Have you got children to consider?? If you do then my advice -not heated -would be -just take your time and nurture your children cos that one time of your life you will never ever relive -thats what i di and we have so many happy memories together as the 3 of us and sometimes with their dad -so special.

You have to put your personal emotions on the back burner -I did for 8 yrs cos my children were more important and perhaps his are as well.Let them have good memories -you 2 need to put your feelings to the side -que sera sera -I am so glad my kids had the memories they had because I was unselfish and maybe he should be as well -cos believe me hun -you literally dont know whats round the corner-its ******* life changing -far worse for the kisds tho.

Think on -I speak from experience and I am not standing in judgement.

[legend006]

tasty wot u sayin bout me here?im confused btw