In relationship with married man!!!!!!!!

[lerler]

Hi all,need some advice.I've been with him for three years now.He's still with wife,she kind of like has a clue,but he just keeps fobbing her off.He tells me he needs to say because of his debts etc,we have a great time and love each other alot.We've tried the not seeing each other for a couple of mths,but where like a boomerang...we just keep getting together.What should one do...?

[pastafreak]

Who was that ^^^^^^ for...

[Ice.Maiden]

Lol - what's that mean? How do you type that?!!

[pastafreak]

I was 'pointing' to tastys last remark.......look at the 6 key-lol

[jno]

tasty, you're carrying a remarkable amount of anger about something that happened 20 years ago. Are you sure you've forgiven your man? As Drisgirl says, it rather sounds as if you're still furious about it and are trying to deflect this anger out of your relationship on to the other woman. And now you're aiming it even further away, on to lerler, who you don't know and who doesn't (I suppose) know your man at all. Are you sure you don't need to deal with this? Serious question.

[Drisgirl]

Take it tasy it was your man that strayed -the keep yer venom for him -its him that cheated on you not lerler -but guesss shes conveniebt fodder.
What do you think that some of us havent been cheated on in our lives ?

You want to reign yerself in hun - just liie all the rest of the ones who are coming down hard on her -its pitiful -takes 2 to tango -and obviously your man wanted to tango more with his bit on the side than you.

You smack of bitternesss and vitriol -go and take it out on him hun !!!

Lets try to give this girl some honest advice -she didnt post for a desperate housewife to take her spite out on her !!FFS !!!

[Drisgirl]

O get a life FFS -so what ya trying to say -that when a mans **** twitches he is no longer in control -this is one of the most biased threads I have ever read.

I would never ever condone any mans or womans actions for extra marital sex -something has to be wrong in the first place -she is percieved as the the homewrecker yet its him thats chasing her -hellooo!!!!
Think all who are downing her have personal experience BUT watch cos you obviously werent enough first round -who is to say you will stay the course if you think your man was innocent -just watch out -all your nastiness to this woman will come back again and bite ya in the bum cos you have been suckered in with the sweet talk (ie cant afford to stay with her but have to until the kids are up -lifes a biatch)

Just watch -wouldnt defend too much !!!!

[Drisgirl]

O BTW -JK04 -hope karma comes and gets ya for that -I have never wished anyone dead ya sicko -yeuch !!!

[China Doll]

You don't have a relatioinship (romantically speaking) with a married man. It's an impossibility because it's not a level playing field and you are not their first priority. In this instance it would seem finances come before both you and his wife actually.

It's all very well getting caught up in a situation but at some point you have to right the situation. How you do that is largely up to yourself and the person involved. Ultimately, he's not leaving his wife in the short term (at the very least) and you are a bit on the side. Personally I think you should raise the bar for yourself.

[Velvetee]

This site is for people who are asking genuine questions, in hope of receiving a genuine, unbiased answer. Yet again, we have judgemental individuals, being abusive.

I don't think Lerler should be having an affair with a married man, not because of the moral aspect of committing adultery, but because she asked what she should do in respect of her situation. The most sensible answer would be to advise her, she is wasting her time and should be putting her energy and love into someone who deserves it.

It seems the blame for an adulturous liaison is always at the door of the woman. No one forces these married men to have extra marital sex and they are equally, if not moreso to blame. It is unfair to become abusive to a woman, who has fallen for the lies and claptrap of a man, who is more than aware, he should not be pursuing another woman.

[pastafreak]

Just as i said earlier....It takes two,so they will always share in any 'guilt '.....all it takes is for one to walk away to end it.

[Ice.Maiden]

And so say all of us! Hope things work out in that lerler finds happiness.

[ChuckFickens]

Well lerler you have stirred up some people tonnight for sure!

ignore the insults and judgemental posts.. people have to live their lives and make their own mistakes, you shouldn't be judged by others just because they have been through it themselves and, therefore, think they know better. You need to learn yourself, sometimes the hard way.

My view on this is after 3 years he has had more than enough chances/opportunity's to leave his wife, if he was serious about you he would have done it by now.

it seems to me that you have found the typical bloke that wants the best of both worlds and you are pampering to that need.

Back away from him, I think he is only after one thing, but if I'm wrong then he will come after you and you may end up with a happy relationship, but I doubt it.

[Drisgirl]

Well said CD -that was precisely what i was trying to put across without the histrionics.

I aint religious at all but sometimes things make sense to me -'those who are without sin cast the first stone'

I cant stand hypocrites myself.

lerler -come back on -please do you must be hurting -probably for all the wrong reasons but hey not all of uis are here to spite ya -took guts to seek help and advice -i'm on [email protected] and I will chat to you personly away from the board and hope I can help ya through this --please contact me -I have made good pals from peeps such as you -I wont slate ya hun -I will try to help ya xxx

Your shout -I have been there and its better one on one -off on Fri and Sat tho lol -but any other time.

I have good mates on here-hey I'm not Mother Theresa but I am grounded and do have way too much life experience lol xxx

[Ice.Maiden]

I'll vouch for Dris - her and pasta are my "big sisters", and if they can't help you - they'll sure as hell make you laugh!

[Drisgirl]

Cheers my honey xxx

She's be better off speaking off line and I will be her mentor -thats if she eants me to be -I dont like to do a lot on-line its way better off line hun-trust me - -honestly -I couldnt think of anything to say there lol xxx

We''ll get ya thro this -maybe not in the way you want but I'll always be here to support ya -promise xxxx

[pastafreak]

I will vouch for dris also,hun......she will tell it like it is and give you support if that is what you want.