I Really Need Some Advice On This!

[Retrochic]

'm in a predicament and really don't know how to address it. We were at my nephews engagement party and they had a lovely cake which I commented on and they told me the same person was going to do the wedding cake. In a rash moment I offered to buy the wedding cake as a wedding present and they were delighted. Anyway I've just been informed by my nephew that his fiance has decided to go with a different cake designer and they have chosen the cake and its going to cost - wait for it- £450! I'd budgeted at around £250 for the cake and although I could pay it, I feel its grossly extravagant for a cake -its just two layers of sponge! I feel I've been taken advantage of. What do I do? Gulp and pay the £450 or say something and offer to pay towards the cake -but what can I say that will not sound mean?

[Sqad]

\\\Any ideas on how I can word a letter to them? Without seeming as if I've gone back on my word?\\

Dear ?

If you would please inform me of your bank account details, name, sort code, account number, i will transfer £250 into that account for the cake or whatever use you may think appropriate to your needs.

Git.

[Prudie]

Wow from £120 to £450, even if I had the money I wouldn't pay that on principle. I thinks it's an outrageous cheek. Better to tell your nephew you will only contribute £250, you might be doing them a favour by teaching them not to take advantage of kindness in the future.

[dunnitall]

Lol sqad, good one but a little more 'flowery' would be my style lol.

[Retrochic]

Sqad Are you calling me a Git, that's a bit uncalled for.

[Svejk]

if you do pay. insist on having 'cake supplied by retro-chic' or similar in red icing around the side.

[gness]

Retro....stick to your guns on the original price you thought you were paying.

A while ago I offered to pay for a long weekend away for two people who were having a bad time and interference from family.....just to have some time together....

I didn't make myself clear enough....they chose an experience weekend..... at £7000......

I smiled....said not on your nellie.....and gave them an amount I was prepared to go to......☺

[Retrochic]

gness OMG! £7000 weekend? Thanks for the support I think I'm ready to say something to them as I think they would not have ordered a cake that expensive had they had to pay for it themselves.

[gness]

No...and neither would my couple.....I was going to be taken advantage of as I think you are......

Just a note saying you had based your offer of £250 on the cost of the engagement cake and you hope this will be welcomed....

And let us know if they rethink about the cake when they know you're not paying for it all....x

[kvalidir]

If you can afford it, pay it imho. You said you'd buy a wedding cake and like it or not £450 for a wedding cake is pretty reasonable by a lot of Bridezillas standards. I personally think wedding cakes are a huge amount for what they are too but unless you cant afford it you did say you'd buy a cake without really clarifying how much that would caost you.
If you c ant aford it, I'd go with something like
' Dear Mork and Mindy, I'm so excited about your wedding and also about being able to contribute to your wedding cake. Here is a cheque for £250 towards your cake, which I'm sure will be amazing, I cant wait to see it. With love and best wishes, Auntie Retrochic xxx

[Sqad]

Kvali......LOL

"Bridzilla?"........is that an ugly bride......only I had never heard the term before.

[woofgang]

so have I understood this right?
They didn't ask you to pay for the cake, you offered?
You didn't ask and they didn't tell you what a wedding cake from that original baker would cost? The 250 was your assumption not based on any fact.?
You made that assumption soley based on what the engagement cake cost?
You didn't mention an amount or any kind of budget when you made the offer?
The reason that you want to renege on the offer is that you think its too much to pay for a cake?


I mean yes you could back out but to me it smacks of being a bit of an Indian Giver and if it was me, while I might not mind, I certainly wouldn't forget it.

If you had sent them a cheque as a wedding present, they would have used it how they liked. Your opinion is that spending so much money on a cake is wasteful. Me, I would have to see the cake before commenting but I do understand your view. But that's your view not theirs and its their wedding not yours.

[Bazile]

My missus is often asked to bake and decorate celebration cakes .

I'm sure she could do them a nice one for £ 250

[weecalf]

Just say when did the new rule come in that the cake buyer pays for the honeymoon .Find where she intend to get it tell her they just closed but Tescos do a lovely cake .

[kvalidir]

A Bridezilla is a bride who becomes a monster ( as in dramatic, hysterics, everything being just so or expensive and otherwise unreasonableness) not necessarily ugly Sqad;-)

[boxtops]

I'd stick to your original price - given that you offered to pay for it, it's unreasonable of the bride to contract with another baker without discussing it with you. You're setting a precedent too - if you give £450 to this couple, have you got more nephews and nieces who might think Auntie would give them a similarly-valued gift too? You have to address this - tell them straight up that you can't afford it - I would.

[Bazile]

No doubt the bride to be has taken advantage of your kind , open ended offer - to have a cake which she thinks will impress the guests .

I think the bottom line is - if you can afford £ 450 then perhaps you should agree .

If you cant afford it - then advise them to that effect

[Sqad]

Thanks Kvali.

[woofgang]

but no original price was set or even discussed if I have understood this correctly?

[boxtops]

Retro says the engagement cake was £120 so expected a 2-layer cake to be twice that. A bit of an assumption, but not unreasonable.